Will my Ex come back?

I am asked this question constantly by my readers and friends. It is not an easy question to answer, but there are some ways to show your ex may come back into your life.

Astrology is all about timing. When a person enters and exits your life is ‘written in the stars’. Plenty of people come back together after time apart, while others stay out of your life for good.

Do retrogrades cause breakups? 

I find that a lot of my readers break up during a retrograde. Retrogrades are a time of reviewing and reassessing, so it makes sense that breakups happen during this time.

I’ve heard from many astrologers that the couple is likely to get back together once the retrograde is over. This can be true, but it really depends.

For example, a friend of mine break up with her boyfriend during Mars retrograde. Mars was retrograde in her 7th house, which is a very good indication that she would experience some relationship difficulties during this time.

She called me in a panic, and said she was scared he would be gone forever. I took a look at her chart and saw the retrograde in her 7th house, but I didn’t notice any major transits or progressions that would point to a huge break up.

After the retrograde was over (literally the day after), they got back together. It seems as though he needed a break from the relationship for a few weeks to reassess and review if this was a relationship he wanted to pursue further.  That is just how retrogrades work.

On the other hand, I had a major breakup during Venus retrograde many years ago. In this case, I was the one to break up with him. In my own chart, transiting retrograde Saturn was in square aspect to my natal Venus, which is a classic indication of a breakup.

All in all, I do not believe retrogrades themselves can bring permanent breakups, but they are likely to trigger a separation if you already have a ‘break up’ transit happening at the same time. If not, there is a good chance you will get back together after the retrograde is over.

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Do retrogrades bring people back from the past?

Yes, they do!

This is especially true if you have a retrograde planet transiting your 7th house or your 7th house ruler.

It can also occur when retrograde in the 1st house, or if the retrograde planet makes a major aspect to the ruler of your 7th house or Venus. This can signal that an old flame will re-enter your life.

But will this person stay permanently? It depends on the connection between the two people.

Synastry connections that indicate breakups and reunions

There are a few synastry connections that point to on-off relationships

Inner planets (especially Venus) in square aspect to Uranus

When you see a connection like this in a synastry chart, it points to an unpredictable and erratic relationship. In this relationship, there may be plenty of breakups and reunions, or hot-cold energy between the couple.

The Uranus person is likely to bring this energy to the relationship. When the Venus person gets too close or dependent on the Uranus person, the Uranus person feels suffocated and restricted and pulls away.  The Uranus person eventually ends up missing the Venus person and reunites with them, only to pull away again for the same reasons as before.

I find that Sun, Moon and Mars in aspect to Uranus indicate an on-off energy as well. Same goes for Uranus in aspect to another person’s 7th house ruler.

Planets conjunct the South Node

When one person’s planets (particularly personal planets like Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars) is conjunct another person’s South Node, the couple shares a past-life connection. The connection they have is comfortable and familiar, as they have met in previous lives.

This connection tends to keep two people together for a long time. Over time, however, the South Node person, while comfortable, may feel stifled by the relationship. At the same time, the planet person may feel drained by the relationship, for they feel they are constantly ‘giving’ in the relationship.

Despite these issues, the sense of comfort and familiarity may lead these two to reunite over and over. Depending on the rest of the synastry chart (and natal charts), these two may stay together forever, or may eventually break up.

Planets conjunct the North Node 

This aspect indicates these two are meant to learn from and grow with each other. The Node person particularly feels a sense of destiny and fate in this relationship, for the planet person acts like a guide for the Node person to realize their full potential.

This can be quite exhilarating, or frightening, depending on the person’s relationship with their North Node. The planet person brings the North Node person out of their comfort zone and challenges them to learn and grow.

As a result of this, the Node person may pull away from the planet person out of fear of change. They may feel very settled in their South Node qualities and be resistant to any type of transformation.

However, as the planet person matures. the pull of the North Node may be too strong to ignore. The Node person knows the planet person is ‘good’ for them, so they may end up reuniting with the planet person over and over.


In conclusion, we must look at the synastry connections and transits of a couple to determine whether they have the potential to get back together:

  • In synastry, check for harsh Uranus aspects and Nodal connections. These often point to couples who break up and get back together frequently.
  • As for timing, look for retrogrades of Mercury, Venus, Mars in the 7th house or in aspect to the 7th house ruler.


Click here to read How to Read a Synastry Chart

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