Commitment-Phobic People

Ever dated someone who had the habit of always disappearing? Your texts go unanswered, your calls are ignored, leaving you wondering “What did I do?” As soon as you’ve given up on them, they suddenly calls you, acting like nothing is wrong. WTF?!


There are several astrological placements and aspects which relate to this kind of behavior. Let’s take a look at some…

Planets in Aquarius:


Aquarius is the natural ruler of the 11th house, and is ruled by the planet Uranus. The characteristics of Aquarius are: unpredictability, instability, and freedom-loving. As such, people with planets in Aquarius tend to display these characteristics towards their mates, especially if the Sun, Moon, and/or Venus is in Aquarius. Aquarians need tons of space and freedom, and feel “trapped” if they feel tied down. This is why this sign is known for commitment-phobia. Aquarius is also the rebel, so anything “traditional” when it comes to relationships just won’t do. Indeed, non-traditional relationships, such as long-distance relationships, work best for these guys.


Aquarians are often stuck in their own worlds. They are constantly thinking and processing information, so it’s easy for them to forget to call or write. Also, Aquarius men shun neediness and clingy-ness, so if their partner shows major signs of co-dependency, they will distance themselves from the relationship. Aquas are also very independent, and need space to do their own thing. In addition, Aquarius people tend to see everyone as equals; they’re just as likely to help a stranger as they are likely to help a long-time friend. Because of this, they are less likely to give anyone “special treatment.”  Finally, Aquas are known for their emotional detachment. They are often oblivious to the feelings of others, so he might find it difficult to understand that you have needs.


Aquarius works best with partners who also have their own lives. If you’re in a relationship with an Aquarius person, don’t give up your life for them. Waiting by the phone for him to call, or nagging him constantly will get you nowhere in this relationship.


If an Aqua ignores you, ignore them back. Don’t be afraid to do this. You may think that by ignoring, you’re pushing them away, but it’s actually quite the opposite: ignoring them will get their attention. There’s nothing more appealing to an Aqua than an independent person who has their own life and doesn’t necessarily need him.


Since Aquas are emotionally detached, gentle reminders to call you back or simply letting him know that you don’t appreciate his behavior can be beneficial. It’s important not to nag him about it; just gently express your feelings. Aquas don’t respond well to emotional scenes, so try to keep the conversation rational, as it will appeal to his intellect.


Prominent Uranus Aspects and Placements:

Prominent Uranus aspects include hard aspects to one’s Sun, Moon, Venus, Ascendant/Descendant axis, or Uranus in the fifth or seventh house.


People with prominent Uranus placements tend to have Aquarian traits, as Uranus is the ruler of Aquarius. People with prominent Uranus in their charts are independent, freedom-loving folk who hate to be tied down.


Like Aquarius folk, they have a tremendous need for space and independence, so relationships can be tricky for them. Relationships usually start and end quickly for Uranian people. They are attracted to the “newness” of relationships, which is hard to maintain in the long run. Their relationships are marked by an on-off energy; when their partners get too close, the Uranian person distances himself, but when the partner is nowhere to be found, the Uranian person gains interest again. Instability and unpredictability are the hallmarks of Uranian relationships. These people tend to also be attracted to non-traditional relationships (i.e. long-distance), and are attracted to non-traditional partners (i.e. people from different localities, backgrounds, cultures, etc.).


So, how do you deal with a Uranian man, when it comes to relationships? Again, having your own life and giving him plenty of space is key to making this work. People with prominent Uranus in their charts tend to do well with other Uranian people; they each give each other plenty of space and understand each other’s need for freedom.

Want to know more about Aquarius? Click here to find out!