Compatibility Astrology

Does my Partner Feel the Same Way?

This is a commonly-asked question in astrology which I would like to address. It is easy for one person in a relationship to feel they feel more strongly for their partner, than vice-versa.

How can you tell who feels more strongly for who in a Synastry Chart? What are the indicators of a one-sided relationship? What aspects show synastry compatibility towards one partner, but not the other?

Check out the House Overlays

House overlays are a powerful way to assess how each partner feels for the other person in a relationship. When interpreting a house overlay, it is important to understand how they work in a synastry chart.

When someone’s planet touches one of our houses, we feel the energy very strongly in the area the house represents.

For example, say my partner has their Venus in my 11th house. This means that I see my partner as a friend, above all else. We may have met through friends, and prefer being with our friend group when we are together as a couple.  This is not a particularly romantic house overlay.

However, say my Venus is in my partner’s 8th house. This means I affect my partner is a deep and profound way. I bring out their deep and transformative feelings, and they feel obsessed and enchanted by me. I put them in touch with their primal instincts and show them a side of themselves they have never seen before.

As you can see, overlays to the 8th house feel very different than overlays to the 11th house. The person with the 8th house overlay may feel more strongly for their partner than the other way around. The 8th house person cannot help but feel intensely bonded to the planet person.

On the other hand, the 11th house person may not feel as intensely attracted and enthralled by the relationship, and would rather the two of them stay friends or ‘keep things light’. The 8th house person’s feelings are anything but light, which might make the 8th house person feel their feelings are one-sided.

When assessing your own synastry chart, check out where your partner’s planets land in your houses, and where your planets lie in their chart.

  • 1st house overlays: strong attraction and identification. Also check aspects to each person’s Ascendant.
  • 4th house overlays: strong feeling of attachment and dependency. This person feels like ‘home’ to you.
  • 5th house overlays: feelings of love, playfulness, fun. When someone’s planets fall in this house, you feel romantically attracted to them, and you can see them as the future parent of your children.
  • 7th house overlays: desire for commitment. If someone’s planets fall in this house, you see them as an ideal partner. They might not feel the same way if you have no planets in their 7th house (but check the rest of synastry to determine this)
  • 8th house overlays: desire for merging and deep intimacy. The 8th house person is strongly affected by the planet person. The planet puts them in touch with their deep subconscious feelings, and they want to merge with the planet person.

If you find that your planets mostly fall in your partners 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, or 8th houses, you affect them in a deep and profound level. If your partner’s planets tend to fall in the houses not listed above, you might not feel the same way for your partner.  They simply do not affect you in the same way you affect them.

It is important to note that how your planets aspect each other can override ‘bad’ house placements. More on that below.


romantic couple hugging with a beautiful sunset and planets in the sky Image by Freepik
Venus aspects in synastry

Venus is the planet of love and affection. It shows how we show love and who we are attracted to.

When someone’s natal planets make an aspect to our natal Venus, they awaken our love. How that love is awakened depends on the planet aspecting Venus.

Inner planets are very important to consider here. Having someone’s Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars in aspect to our Venus indicates a strong level of attraction and love.

For example, if your Mars is conjunct my Venus, I feel a passionate love towards you. You feel a strong sexual pull towards me, which is primarily based on physical attraction.

Outer planets are also very important in synastry. If someone’s Jupiter aspects your natal Venus, your loving nature is expanded through your association with this person. You feel very good when you are with them. Saturn in aspect to your Venus indicates this person teaches you how to love and relate in a mature and responsible way. You are willing to commit to them for the long-run.

Someone’s Uranus in aspect to your Venus indicates you feel a strong attraction to them, and you are in love with their uniqueness and individuality. Neptune in aspect to your Venus indicates this person teaches you about unconditional love and you may see them as your soulmate. Finally, someone’s Pluto in aspect to your Venus indicates this person impacts you powerfully and you will likely become romantically obsessed with this person.

But how do they feel about you?

If one partner receives many synastry aspects to their Venus, while the other partner does not receive many synastry aspects to their Venus, a one-sided relationship can be indicated. The person who receives many synastry aspects to their Venus experiences strong feelings of love and affection for their partner because their partner activates their love very strongly.

I find that square aspects between one persons Venus and another person’s planets is most problematic. In this case, the Venus person likely feels unappreciated in the relationship. They may feel they are constantly giving in the relationship, and their partner does not appreciate them.


Have you ever been in a one-sided relationship? What aspects did you share with your partner?

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