Compatibility Astrology

The Astrology of Unrequited Love

Unrequited love is a result of many situations, but they usually occur when 1) one person does not feel as strongly for their partner, or 2) something keeps the couple from being together.

These types of relationships are never easy, as at least one or both partner yearn for the other. It can be hard to accept the relationship is over, and you may see that partner as the “one that got away”.

In this article, we go over some major indicators that a relationship may end up in an ‘unrequited love’ scenario.

Saturn in Synastry and Unrequited Love

Aspects to watch out for:

  • One person’s Venus in hard aspect to another person’s Saturn
  • One person’s 7th house ruler in hard aspect to another person’s Saturn

Most of you may have guessed I’d mention Saturn in this article. Saturn is the planet of restriction and realism, as well as maturity and commitment.

When Saturn is well-aspected in a Synastry chart, the couple is likely quite committed and settled with each other. There is a feeling that they can depend on each other, and they feel responsible to one another. Positive Saturn aspects are commonly found in the synastry charts of married couples and long-term relationships, for they act as the ‘glue’ that keep a couple together.

When Saturn is not well-aspected in a Synastry chart, unrequited love can be the result. This is especially true in the case of hard Venus-Saturn synastry aspects, or if either person’s Saturn makes a hard aspect to the other person’s 7th house ruler.

If one person’s Saturn makes a hard aspect to another person’s Venus, barriers to commitment and partnership are indicated. In these relationships, the Saturn person might have some sort of restrictions or obstacles that keep them from being with the Venus person.

For example, perhaps the Saturn person is already in a relationship. If this is the case, the Saturn person is not likely to leave their current partner for the Venus person, as the Saturn person likely feels very responsible to their current relationship.

Another example could be religious or cultural barriers. Perhaps the Saturn persons’ family would not approve of the Venus person due to cultural or religious differences, and that is what keeps the couple from entering a real partnership.

black and white interracial couple relationship argumentImage by on Freepik

Of course, the Saturn person may simply have inner fears regarding vulnerability and rejection, which keeps them from opening up fully to the Venus person.

I’ve found that couples with Venus-Saturn aspects find it hard to open up and talk to each other about their feelings.  It can feel awkward to be vulnerable with each other, so the couple might avoid those kinds of conversations completely.

Whatever the reason, unrequited love is definitely a possibility when Saturn makes a harsh aspect to Venus in a Synastry chart.

The ruler of the 7th house in hard aspect to another person’s Saturn works similarly to the Venus-Saturn aspect I just mentioned. The 7th house is naturally ruled by Venus, so it also indicates barriers and obstacles to the couple being together.

What is your 7th house ruler?

  • If your 1st house is in Aries, the 7th house ruler is Venus
  • If your 1st house is in Taurus, the 7th house ruler is Pluto
  • If your 1st house is in Gemini, the 7th house ruler is Jupiter
  • If your 1st house is in Cancer, the 7th house ruler is Saturn
  • If your 1st house is in Leo, the 7th house ruler is Uranus
  • If your 1st house is in Virgo, the 7th house ruler is Neptune
  • If your 1st house is in Libra, the 7th house ruler is Mars
  • If your 1st house is in Scorpio, the 7th house ruler is Venus
  • If your 1st house is in Sagittarius, the 7th house ruler is Mercury
  • If your 1st house is in Capricorn, the 7th house ruler is the Moon
  • If your 1st house is in Aquarius, the 7th house ruler is the Sun
  • If your 1st house is in Pisces, the 7th house ruler is Mercury

If someone’s Saturn makes a hard aspect to your 7th house ruler, an unrequited love may be indicated.  In this case, the Saturn person might have internal or external barriers which prevent them from committing fully to you.

Uranus in Synastry and Unrequited Love

Aspects to watch out for:

  • One person’s Venus in hard aspect to another person’s Uranus
  • One person’s 7th house ruler in hard aspect to another person’s Uranus

Uranus can be tricky in synastry, especially when it is aspecting another person’s Venus or 7th house ruler. It indicates the couple likely fell in love quite quickly and suddenly, but the relationship will likely end as suddenly. Uranus is unstable and unpredictable, and tends to prevent a formal commitment from forming.

In many cases, Uranus relationships are downright bizarre, as the Uranus person is too impractical and unstable for the relationship to continue. However, there are instances in which sudden, unexpected external factors prevent the couple from settling down together.

Perhaps the relationship is long distance, so the couple cannot find time to spend extended periods together. Or, perhaps the Uranus person is not fond of commitment, and would rather keep the relationship open in some way.

This might be very hard for the planet person, especially if a formal commitment is what they want. No matter how hard the planet person tries, they cannot ‘tame’ the Uranus person. If the planet person is very in love with the Uranus person, the relationship can be extremely frustrating and may eventually break up.

Unrequited Love in the Composite Chart

Aspects to watch out for:

  • Composite Venus (or 7th house ruler) in hard aspect to Composite Saturn
  • Composite Venus (or 7th house ruler) in hard aspect to Composite Uranus

These aspects in a Composite Chart are major indicators of a relationship that the relationship may not last.

In the case of Venus-Saturn hard aspects in Composite, barriers and obstacles exist in the relationship which prevent the couple from formalizing a commitment. Saturn in hard aspect to the 7th house ruler of the Composite chart works very similarly. External barriers may prevent them from being together, or one person simply may not feel the same way as the other partner.

With Venus-Uranus in the Composite chart, the relationship may be unpredictable or untraditional in some way, and settling down into a formal, traditional partnership might not be in the cards. If one of the partners wants a formal commitment, they may face difficulties due to the unpredictable and erratic nature of Uranus.

Unrequited Love in the Natal Chart

There are some natal aspects which point to someone who experiences unrequited love in their lifetime.

As with Synastry, Saturn aspects to love planets in the natal chart can indicate pain and loss when it comes to love. My ex boyfriend has Venus square Saturn in his natal chart, and he has unfortunately had a lot of pain in his relationship life (though, he does bring a lot of it on himself!).

People with harsh Venus-Saturn aspects in their natal charts may suffer from low self-esteem. They may feel they are unlovable or unworthy of true love, and often marry out of duty and end up in a loveless marriage. Or, it can prevent partnership and commitment completely.

Venus-Saturn folks usually have a strong fear of rejection and do not like appearing vulnerable to others. There may also be external factors that always get in the way of true love.

As a result, they may experience unrequited love. They might tend to fall in love with the ‘wrong’ people, or may even subconsciously choose ‘unavailable’ people because they know the relationship will end eventually.


All in all, unrequited love scenarios are very difficult to deal with, particularly when you really want the relationship to work. If you see strong Saturn or Uranus aspects in your synastry or Composite, especially if they make hard aspects to Venus or the ruler of the 7th house, you may end up in an unrequited love situation.

If you find yourself in a relationship like this, please remember that the universe has someone better in store for you.


Click here to read The Astrology of Toxic Relationships

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Compatibility Astrology

Does my Partner Feel the Same Way?

This is a commonly-asked question in astrology which I would like to address. It is easy for one person in a relationship to feel they feel more strongly for their partner, than vice-versa.

How can you tell who feels more strongly for who in a Synastry Chart? What are the indicators of a one-sided relationship? What aspects show synastry compatibility towards one partner, but not the other?

Check out the House Overlays

House overlays are a powerful way to assess how each partner feels for the other person in a relationship. When interpreting a house overlay, it is important to understand how they work in a synastry chart.

When someone’s planet touches one of our houses, we feel the energy very strongly in the area the house represents.

For example, say my partner has their Venus in my 11th house. This means that I see my partner as a friend, above all else. We may have met through friends, and prefer being with our friend group when we are together as a couple.  This is not a particularly romantic house overlay.

However, say my Venus is in my partner’s 8th house. This means I affect my partner is a deep and profound way. I bring out their deep and transformative feelings, and they feel obsessed and enchanted by me. I put them in touch with their primal instincts and show them a side of themselves they have never seen before.

As you can see, overlays to the 8th house feel very different than overlays to the 11th house. The person with the 8th house overlay may feel more strongly for their partner than the other way around. The 8th house person cannot help but feel intensely bonded to the planet person.

On the other hand, the 11th house person may not feel as intensely attracted and enthralled by the relationship, and would rather the two of them stay friends or ‘keep things light’. The 8th house person’s feelings are anything but light, which might make the 8th house person feel their feelings are one-sided.

When assessing your own synastry chart, check out where your partner’s planets land in your houses, and where your planets lie in their chart.

  • 1st house overlays: strong attraction and identification. Also check aspects to each person’s Ascendant.
  • 4th house overlays: strong feeling of attachment and dependency. This person feels like ‘home’ to you.
  • 5th house overlays: feelings of love, playfulness, fun. When someone’s planets fall in this house, you feel romantically attracted to them, and you can see them as the future parent of your children.
  • 7th house overlays: desire for commitment. If someone’s planets fall in this house, you see them as an ideal partner. They might not feel the same way if you have no planets in their 7th house (but check the rest of synastry to determine this)
  • 8th house overlays: desire for merging and deep intimacy. The 8th house person is strongly affected by the planet person. The planet puts them in touch with their deep subconscious feelings, and they want to merge with the planet person.

If you find that your planets mostly fall in your partners 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, or 8th houses, you affect them in a deep and profound level. If your partner’s planets tend to fall in the houses not listed above, you might not feel the same way for your partner.  They simply do not affect you in the same way you affect them.

It is important to note that how your planets aspect each other can override ‘bad’ house placements. More on that below.


romantic couple hugging with a beautiful sunset and planets in the sky Image by Freepik
Venus aspects in synastry

Venus is the planet of love and affection. It shows how we show love and who we are attracted to.

When someone’s natal planets make an aspect to our natal Venus, they awaken our love. How that love is awakened depends on the planet aspecting Venus.

Inner planets are very important to consider here. Having someone’s Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars in aspect to our Venus indicates a strong level of attraction and love.

For example, if your Mars is conjunct my Venus, I feel a passionate love towards you. You feel a strong sexual pull towards me, which is primarily based on physical attraction.

Outer planets are also very important in synastry. If someone’s Jupiter aspects your natal Venus, your loving nature is expanded through your association with this person. You feel very good when you are with them. Saturn in aspect to your Venus indicates this person teaches you how to love and relate in a mature and responsible way. You are willing to commit to them for the long-run.

Someone’s Uranus in aspect to your Venus indicates you feel a strong attraction to them, and you are in love with their uniqueness and individuality. Neptune in aspect to your Venus indicates this person teaches you about unconditional love and you may see them as your soulmate. Finally, someone’s Pluto in aspect to your Venus indicates this person impacts you powerfully and you will likely become romantically obsessed with this person.

But how do they feel about you?

If one partner receives many synastry aspects to their Venus, while the other partner does not receive many synastry aspects to their Venus, a one-sided relationship can be indicated. The person who receives many synastry aspects to their Venus experiences strong feelings of love and affection for their partner because their partner activates their love very strongly.

I find that square aspects between one persons Venus and another person’s planets is most problematic. In this case, the Venus person likely feels unappreciated in the relationship. They may feel they are constantly giving in the relationship, and their partner does not appreciate them.


Have you ever been in a one-sided relationship? What aspects did you share with your partner?

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