One of my longest relationships featured a Lilith-Sun/Ascendant conjunction in synastry. I was the Sun/Ascendant person, while he was the Lilith person. It was a complicated, intense, spicy hot love affair that changed both of our lives.
In Hebrew tradition, Lilith was Adam’s first wife. Unlike Eve, Lilith was created from the ground, the same way Adam was created. She was highly sexual, but not out of desire for procreation. Indeed, she was not satisfied with traditional forms of love-making. Lilith refused to submit to patriarchal authority, and decided to leave the Garden of Eden. This angered Adam, and he threatened that if she didn’t return, 100 of the children she birthed ever day would die. Lilith, however, became angry and did not return to Adam. Instead, she continued to birth children (despite the fact that they were destined to die). She would seduce men when she was bored, then murder them or drive them to insanity. Adam eventually had God create Eve from his rib, as he found Lilith too difficult to handle.
Lilith in a woman’s chart shows how and under which circumstances her sexual energy is released. Lilith also relates to where and how we use our feminine power, and shows us the place where we hold vengefulness. Prominent feminists and women in positions of considerable power have strongly placed Liliths in their charts. Think Gloria Steinam and Hilary Clinton. Think Samantha from “Sex and the City,” who refused to submit to men in the workplace, and in bed. She had sex “like a man,” and didn’t apologize for it, despite societal expectations.
Lilith represents the temptress, seducer, and is often compared to a “home wrecker.” Lilith represents the scary side of women, and what men fear the most. The fulfillment of her sexual appetites and desires was what Lilith cared for the most, and any attempt to hamper her sexual self-expression was met with hostility and violence. Lilith is magnetic, and has the power to mesmerize those she comes in contact with. She uses sexuality to further her own goals, and takes no prisoners.
In a man’s chart, Lilith represents the type of woman he fears, and craves, the most. It is the type of woman that can drive him over the edge with obsession and desire. As evidenced in the story of Adam and Lilith, (many) men are inherently uncomfortable with sexually liberated and unapologetic who break the mold of Eve, who represents the “traditional wife”. They feel threatened by her, and seek to suppress and limit her, while affording themselves the rights to do as they please. This is why men label “promiscuous” women as “sluts”, yet congratulate themselves and one another for their own sexual conquests.
In synastry, Lilith brings an untamed, wild sexual energy, feelings of obsession, and intense, transformative interactions. When your Lilith aspects your someone’s planet (especially the Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, or the Ascendant), you are magnetically attracted to this person, and can’t get them out of your mind. This aspect shows an amazing amount of sexual chemistry and an obsessive attraction.
Like Pluto, Lilith aspects in synastry act to draw out each person’s sexuality. Lilith sex is tantric, obsessive, and highly addictive. Couples with strong Lilith in synastry have an incredibly strong sexual attraction to one another, and it is difficult to keep them apart! Logic does not apply in Lilith relationships. Indeed, Lilith is what makes a man end a 20-year marriage out of the blue. Indeed, Lilith’s reputation as a “home wrecker” is well deserved. On the plus side, she can break someone free of their safe, habitual behavior.
Lilith relationships do not usually last, unless there are other supportive aspects. Couples with strong Lilith synastry aspects often break down due to feelings of unworthiness, rage, and revenge. Sometimes, the Lilith person keeps the planet person under her spell until she has succeeded in destroying the life of the planet person.