Compatibility Astrology

The Astrology of Unrequited Love

Unrequited love is a result of many situations, but they usually occur when 1) one person does not feel as strongly for their partner, or 2) something keeps the couple from being together.

These types of relationships are never easy, as at least one or both partner yearn for the other. It can be hard to accept the relationship is over, and you may see that partner as the “one that got away”.

In this article, we go over some major indicators that a relationship may end up in an ‘unrequited love’ scenario.

Saturn in Synastry and Unrequited Love

Aspects to watch out for:

  • One person’s Venus in hard aspect to another person’s Saturn
  • One person’s 7th house ruler in hard aspect to another person’s Saturn

Most of you may have guessed I’d mention Saturn in this article. Saturn is the planet of restriction and realism, as well as maturity and commitment.

When Saturn is well-aspected in a Synastry chart, the couple is likely quite committed and settled with each other. There is a feeling that they can depend on each other, and they feel responsible to one another. Positive Saturn aspects are commonly found in the synastry charts of married couples and long-term relationships, for they act as the ‘glue’ that keep a couple together.

When Saturn is not well-aspected in a Synastry chart, unrequited love can be the result. This is especially true in the case of hard Venus-Saturn synastry aspects, or if either person’s Saturn makes a hard aspect to the other person’s 7th house ruler.

If one person’s Saturn makes a hard aspect to another person’s Venus, barriers to commitment and partnership are indicated. In these relationships, the Saturn person might have some sort of restrictions or obstacles that keep them from being with the Venus person.

For example, perhaps the Saturn person is already in a relationship. If this is the case, the Saturn person is not likely to leave their current partner for the Venus person, as the Saturn person likely feels very responsible to their current relationship.

Another example could be religious or cultural barriers. Perhaps the Saturn persons’ family would not approve of the Venus person due to cultural or religious differences, and that is what keeps the couple from entering a real partnership.

black and white interracial couple relationship argumentImage by rawpixel.com on Freepik

Of course, the Saturn person may simply have inner fears regarding vulnerability and rejection, which keeps them from opening up fully to the Venus person.

I’ve found that couples with Venus-Saturn aspects find it hard to open up and talk to each other about their feelings.  It can feel awkward to be vulnerable with each other, so the couple might avoid those kinds of conversations completely.

Whatever the reason, unrequited love is definitely a possibility when Saturn makes a harsh aspect to Venus in a Synastry chart.

The ruler of the 7th house in hard aspect to another person’s Saturn works similarly to the Venus-Saturn aspect I just mentioned. The 7th house is naturally ruled by Venus, so it also indicates barriers and obstacles to the couple being together.

What is your 7th house ruler?

  • If your 1st house is in Aries, the 7th house ruler is Venus
  • If your 1st house is in Taurus, the 7th house ruler is Pluto
  • If your 1st house is in Gemini, the 7th house ruler is Jupiter
  • If your 1st house is in Cancer, the 7th house ruler is Saturn
  • If your 1st house is in Leo, the 7th house ruler is Uranus
  • If your 1st house is in Virgo, the 7th house ruler is Neptune
  • If your 1st house is in Libra, the 7th house ruler is Mars
  • If your 1st house is in Scorpio, the 7th house ruler is Venus
  • If your 1st house is in Sagittarius, the 7th house ruler is Mercury
  • If your 1st house is in Capricorn, the 7th house ruler is the Moon
  • If your 1st house is in Aquarius, the 7th house ruler is the Sun
  • If your 1st house is in Pisces, the 7th house ruler is Mercury

If someone’s Saturn makes a hard aspect to your 7th house ruler, an unrequited love may be indicated.  In this case, the Saturn person might have internal or external barriers which prevent them from committing fully to you.

Uranus in Synastry and Unrequited Love

Aspects to watch out for:

  • One person’s Venus in hard aspect to another person’s Uranus
  • One person’s 7th house ruler in hard aspect to another person’s Uranus

Uranus can be tricky in synastry, especially when it is aspecting another person’s Venus or 7th house ruler. It indicates the couple likely fell in love quite quickly and suddenly, but the relationship will likely end as suddenly. Uranus is unstable and unpredictable, and tends to prevent a formal commitment from forming.

In many cases, Uranus relationships are downright bizarre, as the Uranus person is too impractical and unstable for the relationship to continue. However, there are instances in which sudden, unexpected external factors prevent the couple from settling down together.

Perhaps the relationship is long distance, so the couple cannot find time to spend extended periods together. Or, perhaps the Uranus person is not fond of commitment, and would rather keep the relationship open in some way.

This might be very hard for the planet person, especially if a formal commitment is what they want. No matter how hard the planet person tries, they cannot ‘tame’ the Uranus person. If the planet person is very in love with the Uranus person, the relationship can be extremely frustrating and may eventually break up.

Unrequited Love in the Composite Chart

Aspects to watch out for:

  • Composite Venus (or 7th house ruler) in hard aspect to Composite Saturn
  • Composite Venus (or 7th house ruler) in hard aspect to Composite Uranus

These aspects in a Composite Chart are major indicators of a relationship that the relationship may not last.

In the case of Venus-Saturn hard aspects in Composite, barriers and obstacles exist in the relationship which prevent the couple from formalizing a commitment. Saturn in hard aspect to the 7th house ruler of the Composite chart works very similarly. External barriers may prevent them from being together, or one person simply may not feel the same way as the other partner.

With Venus-Uranus in the Composite chart, the relationship may be unpredictable or untraditional in some way, and settling down into a formal, traditional partnership might not be in the cards. If one of the partners wants a formal commitment, they may face difficulties due to the unpredictable and erratic nature of Uranus.

Unrequited Love in the Natal Chart

There are some natal aspects which point to someone who experiences unrequited love in their lifetime.

As with Synastry, Saturn aspects to love planets in the natal chart can indicate pain and loss when it comes to love. My ex boyfriend has Venus square Saturn in his natal chart, and he has unfortunately had a lot of pain in his relationship life (though, he does bring a lot of it on himself!).

People with harsh Venus-Saturn aspects in their natal charts may suffer from low self-esteem. They may feel they are unlovable or unworthy of true love, and often marry out of duty and end up in a loveless marriage. Or, it can prevent partnership and commitment completely.

Venus-Saturn folks usually have a strong fear of rejection and do not like appearing vulnerable to others. There may also be external factors that always get in the way of true love.

As a result, they may experience unrequited love. They might tend to fall in love with the ‘wrong’ people, or may even subconsciously choose ‘unavailable’ people because they know the relationship will end eventually.

 

All in all, unrequited love scenarios are very difficult to deal with, particularly when you really want the relationship to work. If you see strong Saturn or Uranus aspects in your synastry or Composite, especially if they make hard aspects to Venus or the ruler of the 7th house, you may end up in an unrequited love situation.

If you find yourself in a relationship like this, please remember that the universe has someone better in store for you.

 

Click here to read The Astrology of Toxic Relationships

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Venus-Uranus in Synastry

 

 

In astrology, Venus represents love, beauty, one-on-one relationships, and harmony. Uranus represents unpredictability, instability, independence and the unconventional. When these two planets meet in synastry, sparks are bound to fly.

 

Have you ever fallen in love at first sight? You know, that exciting, heart-stopping feeling you experienced the first time you laid your eyes on that special someone? You might have had a Venus-Uranus synastry aspect with that person.

You likely met this person when one of you was searching for something new and exciting, completely out of the norm of your other relationships. Maybe this person came from a different cultural background than you. Maybe you felt stuck in your stale marriage, and you then met an interesting, intriguing younger man who completely swept you off your feet.

Uranus serves to jolt us awake, making us aware of our need for independence, individuality, and stimulates our desire for the unique. Uranus beckons us to take the road less travelled, to step out of our comfort zone and into new, fresh experiences.

 

When Venus meets Uranus, the chemistry is unmistakable. You probably met suddenly, and unexpectedly. The Uranus person is enamored by the Venus person’s grace and beauty, while the Venus person is intrigued by the excitement and unpredictability the Uranus person promises.

You feel you have met your soul mate, and the relationship starts with a bang. The intellectual connection is through the roof; you feel you have met someone with whom you can share your unusual interests. Along with this connection is a strong physical and sexual attraction.

 

As with all outer planet to inner planet synastry aspects, the outer planet person usually has the upper hand in this relationship. As the relationship progresses and things start to get comfortable, Uranus may begin to withdraw.

Why is this?

Well, Uranus represents freedom and independence, and has a disdain for tradition, while Venus seeks harmony and cooperation. Venus wants romance and harmony, while Uranus wants excitement and freedom.

When Venus gets too close to Uranus, Uranus may distance themselves from Venus. Uranus may begin to feel Venus wants more of a commitment than they can handle. Perhaps as the two settle into a routine, Uranus gets bored and seeks excitement elsewhere.

Uranus is a rebellious planet, and may resent the fact that Venus wants to “tie him down.” Indeed, what started out as a torrid, exciting love affair can quickly degenerate into an unstable, unpredictable situation.

 

Venus-Uranus relationships are marked by an on-off energy between the couple. Numerous separations, often at key moments, are the hallmarks of this relationship.

Indeed, the ability to count on one another is tarnished with this aspect. Venus finds it difficult to get Uranus to commit, and becomes frustrated by Uranus’ inconstancy.

Venus’ initial feelings of excitement soon turn into feelings of frustration and disappointment at the perceived lack of interest on Uranus’ part. Indeed, this relationship has the potential of ending just as quickly as it began.

 

This aspect is also found in the synastry charts of long-distance relationships, interracial relationships, or relationships in which there exists a large age difference. Either way, the relationship itself is unconventional in some manner.

 

This description relates especially to hard aspects (conjunction, square, opposition) between Venus and Uranus in synastry. The trine and sextile are far more manageable; they inject excitement and unpredictability into the relationship, but are not as destabilizing and upsetting as we would experience in the case of hard aspects.

 

Note: Hard aspects between Venus and Uranus on their own do not spell doom for a couple. With the right amount of stabilizing aspects (e.g. Saturn), this relationship can last for a long time. Individuals with Venus in Earth or Water will have a more difficult handling this aspect than individual with Venus in Fire or Air.