How to know if he or she is “the One”

Out of all the questions I get from my clients, the most popular is “Is he/she the One?”

There are so many factors that go into whether your partner is your soulmate. I will outline a few below:

  1. Good composite is more important than good synastry
    • This may not be a popular opinion, but throughout my consultations with clients, I notice over and over that good synastry cannot outweigh a bad composite chart. Why is this?
      • A good synastry chart shows the chemistry between two people. It shows if they are attracted to one another and why. It shows basic compatibility between a couple. This is very important when first bringing two people together.
      • The composite chart, on the other hand, relates to the destiny of the couple. It shows what the two of you create when you come together. You could have the most incompatible synastry connection with someone, but if you have a great composite chart, somehow things seem to keep you together.
    • From my personal experience, I’ve had some pretty significant synastric connections with my previous exes. For example, with one man I had Moon conjunct Venus, Mars conjunct Mars, Venus conjunct Ascendant, Venus conjunct Pluto, and a Sun conjunct Saturn double whammy! We were immediately attracted to one another and I was definitely thinking long-term with him. We went on a few dates and things were going well. Then, as things started to progress and things started getting serious, he started to pull away. This confused me – we felt so good in each other’s presence so why the sudden lack of interest?
    • I looked at our Composite chart and found the answer: we had a tight Sun conjunct Saturn AND Moon square Saturn connection. In Composite charts, it is said that the man represents the Sun while the woman represents the Moon. Saturn, on the other hand, rules responsibility, duty and limitations.
    • While he felt very responsible and committed towards me, the relationship, for whatever reason, made both of us feel very insecure. First of all, work always got in the way of our relationship. He was a very busy doctor who worked in another city, which made things difficult to begin with. When we did have time to go out, perfect strangers would tell me I was “too good for him”. He had a lot of difficulty with that – his ego was shattered when people said those things to us. On the other hand, the Moon in square aspect to the Composite Saturn, which I felt very strongly. I felt ignored, neglected, and cold in this relationship because he always seemed to put work ahead of me. To top things off, I didn’t feel I could express my ‘inner child’ around him; I felt I always needed to be a ‘grown-up’ around him, even though he was 3 years younger than me.
    • In the end, him and I didn’t work out. Regardless of what happened, I always felt happy around him when we were together (I credit this to Moon conjunct Venus – it’s really one of the best aspects in synastry you could hope for). However, we could not seem to ever get past the Saturn blockages we faced.
  2. Timing
    • Through Astrology, I have learned that all things come in good time!
    • You could meet someone amazing and feel that you are completely in love, but I find that the timing of your meeting is very helpful in telling whether this relationship will end up as a marriage.
    • Three things to check:
      • Transits:
        • Transits through the 7th house: major planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) can signal a major relationship change.
          • Obviously, Jupiter, the planet of good fortune and expansion, can bring someone into your life. This will likely be a joyful and expansive relationship for you.
          • Saturn entering the 7th can either end a current relationship or bring a new relationship into your life. Saturn can mean an older person or a relationship that will come with its obstacles/burdens along the way. My best friend got married to a man 20 years older than her when Saturn entered her 7th house, but it ended quite suddenly (she is a very Uranian person so Saturn didn’t suit her)
          • Uranus is the planet of freedom and originality. When this planet is in your 7th house, it can bring a new, exciting relationship that fizzles out just as quickly as it started. I do personally know some marriages that began when Uranus was in the 7th house of at least of the partners, but the two people were very different professionally, culturally, and ethnically.
          • Neptune can bring a dreamy love and a true feeling of finding one’s soulmate, while Pluto can bring a complete overhaul in the love department. You could attract a very intense and transformative love relationship at this time.
        • Transits to Venus and the ruler of your 7th house
          • Venus is the planet of love and affection, and has a direct link to relationships and especially soulmates! Because of this, transits to Venus are some of the best indicators of finding the “one”. You definitely want to look out for harmonious aspects to Venus from the outer planets, such as trines and sextiles, and sometimes even conjunctions
          • The ruler of the 7th house represents the type of partner you will end up with. This is very similar to Venus, as it relates to one-on-one partnerships and relationships
          • The BEST love transits are:
            • Jupiter conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Saturn conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Uranus conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Neptune conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Pluto conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
          • I find that a lot of people fall in love during a strong Neptune transit to natal Venus, but these relationships often do not work out. This is because Neptune is the planet of illusion, and by the end of the transit, you may find that the person you fell in love with isn’t the person you thought they were. During a harmonious Neptune-Venus transit, you can easily fall in love and the effects of Neptune will be much less taxing
        • Solar Returns
          • What does your Solar Return chart look like this year? The Solar return shows potentials for the year, including for marriage
          • Each and every Solar Return chart for the years I entered relationships were very heavy in the 5th and 7th houses
          • Look for a well-placed Venus and ruler of the 7th house for more details and clues
          • If you would like an astrologer to take a look at your Solar Return, visit my Consultations page to set up a reading with me
        • Progressions/Solar Arc
          • I don’t think it’s possible to NOT have a special progression or solar arc aspect when meeting the “one”. Progressions show major trends in our lives, so there needs to be some sort of progression involving the 7th house, Venus, or the ruler of the 7th house when the “one” enters your life.
          • Some examples of progression or solar arc aspects indicating love:
            • Progressed Sun-Venus aspects or Venus-Sun aspects – sextile, trine, conjunction
            • Progressed Ascendant-Venus aspects or Progressed Venus-Ascendant aspects – this one is the best indication for finding love
            • Progressed Venus-ruler of the 7th house or ruler of the 7th house to Venus aspects – indicates love and union
            • Progressed planets in the 7th house
            • Progressed planets making a harmonious aspect to the 7th house or 7th house ruler

I truly believe that true love comes down to compatibility, which is reflected through the synastry and composite charts, but it really comes down to the timing. THE UNIVERSE WILL NOT SEND YOU THE ‘ONE’ UNTIL YOU ARE READY. For those of you worried about your romantic future, fear not! You will find the ‘one’ in good time.

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Mercury through the Signs and Houses

You can find this article on my new and improved site, http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady

Mercury is the natural ruler of the 3rd house, and is ruled by the signs Gemini and Virgo. Mercury represents our communication style and our mental processes. In water, Mercury is subjective and driven by emotions.

Mercury in Aries/1st house: is sharp-witted, straight-forward, and to the point in their thinking and communication. Mercury in Aries individuals are argumentative by nature, and often become impatient when faced with opposition. These individuals are known for jumping to conclusions prematurely because of their impatience.

Mercury in Taurus/2nd house: individuals are patient and practical. They base decisions on the practical, material, and on common sense. These individuals are sometimes considered “slow”, in direct contrast with Mercury in Aries. Individuals with this placement are stubborn, and it is next to impossible to change their minds once their minds are made up.

Mercury in Gemini/3rd house: Mercury is “at home” in Mercury. Individuals with this placement are very logical and quick-thinking. These individuals certainly have the “gift of the gab”, and can be difficult to shut up once they get going. This aspect also lends itself to mental boredom when hovering over one subject for too long. As a result, Mercury in Gemini natives often know “a lot about everything, but very little about individual subjects”.

Mercury in Cancer/4th house: People with this placement have subjective through processes based on feelings and emotions, rather than logic. These individuals have fine memories, and have a strong appreciation for history, given that Cancer is a sign that represents the “past”.

Mercury in Leo/5th house: Individuals with this placement are often opinionated, fixed and stubborn when it comes to mental activities. Mercury in Leo natives may also be authoritarian in their speech, and make wonderful leaders. They tend to look at the “big picture”, and often disregard important details.

Mercury in Virgo/6th house: This placement produces a logical, critical mind. Mercury in Virgo natives are incredibly detail-oriented and have excellent analytical skills. Instead of spreading themselves thin with numerous mental pursuits, the prefer to stick to one subject and explore it deeply. Grammar and spelling are perfect, and they are quick to catch on to things. Indeed, they make excellent students.

Mercury in Libra/7th house: This placement denotes the individual is fair, rational, and non-confrontational. Mercury in Libra natives are diplomatic and polished in their expression, and getting along with others is important to them. This placement is also known for its indecisiveness, as Mercury in Libra has the uncanny ability to see both sides to every issue.

Mercury in Scorpio/8th house: This placement indicates the native is secretive, suspicious, and penetrating. Individuals with this placement are intuitive and private, and are skilled at both extracting and keeping secrets. Mercury in Scorpio natives can be quick sharp-tongued. Like other Watery Mercuries, the thought process is generally subjective.

Mercury in Sagittarius/9th house: This placement indicates a mind that is independent, curious, and direct. Mercury in Sagittarius natives are very opinionated; in fact, they will often give you their opinion without being asked. These individuals are wonderful storytellers, as well. They tend to look at the “big pictures” and ignore minor details. They are interested in subjects like travel, philosophy, and religion. Mercury in Sagittarius individuals also have a keen interest in higher education.

Mercury in Capricorn/10th house: Produces a methodical, objective, clear mind. The thought process is linear, and words are carefully thought-out before verbally expressed. Individuals with this placement have excellent memories, and can be quite skeptical. Mercury in Capricorn individuals have the ability to concentrate deeply on a subject, and have a down-to-earth approach to their communication. In fact, Mercury in Capricorn natives can be quite quiet. They may lack confidence in their verbal expression, and are naturally pessimistic.

Mercury in Aquarius/11th house: Produces a rational, scientific, progressive mind. Individuals with this placement love to shock people with their controversial, eccentric, revolutionary ideas. Their ideas often seem “ahead of the times”. This position of Mercury favors equality and acceptance of diversity.

Mercury in Pisces/12th house: ​​​​​​​​​​With this placement, you may be self-conscious about starting sentences with “I”. I think this placement would actually make you less self-absorbed because Mercury in Pisces has a knack for knowing what other people are thinking and feeling. Perhaps being aware of other people’s thoughts makes you feel self-conscious about saying “I” too much. Plus, Pisces represents the collective unconscious; Pisces has NO ego or boundaries, so the line between “I” and “we” are often blurred. Having Mercury in Pisces may denote psychic abilities, given the sensitivity and intuition that comes along with this placement. These people are amazing at “reading between the lines” and seeing the subtleties that lie beneath people’s words/body language. I also find Mercury in Pisces natives to be excellent listeners, and make incredible counselors and therapists. You’ll often find a Mercury in Pisces daydreaming.

At worst, Mercury in Pisces can lead to lying (not with malicious intent, but often to spare the other person’s feelings), and an inability to stay “on subject” (their minds often wander). Mercury in Pisces people often go off on tangents in conversation, which can be difficult to “keep up with” for people with more linear thought processes.

Mercury in Pisces: With this placement, you may be self-conscious about starting sentences with “I”. I think this placement would actually make you less self-absorbed because Mercury in Pisces has a knack for knowing what other people are thinking and feeling. Perhaps being aware of other people’s thoughts makes you feel self-conscious about saying “I” too much. Plus, Pisces represents the collective unconscious; Pisces has NO ego or boundaries, so the line between “I” and “we” are often blurred. Having Mercury in Pisces may denote psychic abilities, given the sensitivity and intuition that comes along with this placement. These people are amazing at “reading between the lines” and seeing the subtleties that lie beneath people’s words/body language. I also find Mercury in Pisces natives to be excellent listeners, and make incredible counselors and therapists. You’ll often find a Mercury in Pisces daydreaming.

At worst, Mercury in Pisces can lead to lying (not with malicious intent, but often to spare the other person’s feelings), and an inability to stay “on subject” (their minds often wander). Mercury in Pisces people often go off on tangents in conversation, which can be difficult to “keep up with” for people with more linear thought processes.

You can find this article on my new and improved site, http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady