Will my Ex come back?

I am asked this question constantly by my readers and friends. It is not an easy question to answer, but there are some ways to show your ex may come back into your life.

Astrology is all about timing. When a person enters and exits your life is ‘written in the stars’. Plenty of people come back together after time apart, while others stay out of your life for good.

Do retrogrades cause breakups? 

I find that a lot of my readers break up during a retrograde. Retrogrades are a time of reviewing and reassessing, so it makes sense that breakups happen during this time.

I’ve heard from many astrologers that the couple is likely to get back together once the retrograde is over. This can be true, but it really depends.

For example, a friend of mine break up with her boyfriend during Mars retrograde. Mars was retrograde in her 7th house, which is a very good indication that she would experience some relationship difficulties during this time.

She called me in a panic, and said she was scared he would be gone forever. I took a look at her chart and saw the retrograde in her 7th house, but I didn’t notice any major transits or progressions that would point to a huge break up.

After the retrograde was over (literally the day after), they got back together. It seems as though he needed a break from the relationship for a few weeks to reassess and review if this was a relationship he wanted to pursue further.  That is just how retrogrades work.

On the other hand, I had a major breakup during Venus retrograde many years ago. In this case, I was the one to break up with him. In my own chart, transiting retrograde Saturn was in square aspect to my natal Venus, which is a classic indication of a breakup.

All in all, I do not believe retrogrades themselves can bring permanent breakups, but they are likely to trigger a separation if you already have a ‘break up’ transit happening at the same time. If not, there is a good chance you will get back together after the retrograde is over.

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Do retrogrades bring people back from the past?

Yes, they do!

This is especially true if you have a retrograde planet transiting your 7th house or your 7th house ruler.

It can also occur when retrograde in the 1st house, or if the retrograde planet makes a major aspect to the ruler of your 7th house or Venus. This can signal that an old flame will re-enter your life.

But will this person stay permanently? It depends on the connection between the two people.

Synastry connections that indicate breakups and reunions

There are a few synastry connections that point to on-off relationships

Inner planets (especially Venus) in square aspect to Uranus

When you see a connection like this in a synastry chart, it points to an unpredictable and erratic relationship. In this relationship, there may be plenty of breakups and reunions, or hot-cold energy between the couple.

The Uranus person is likely to bring this energy to the relationship. When the Venus person gets too close or dependent on the Uranus person, the Uranus person feels suffocated and restricted and pulls away.  The Uranus person eventually ends up missing the Venus person and reunites with them, only to pull away again for the same reasons as before.

I find that Sun, Moon and Mars in aspect to Uranus indicate an on-off energy as well. Same goes for Uranus in aspect to another person’s 7th house ruler.

Planets conjunct the South Node

When one person’s planets (particularly personal planets like Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars) is conjunct another person’s South Node, the couple shares a past-life connection. The connection they have is comfortable and familiar, as they have met in previous lives.

This connection tends to keep two people together for a long time. Over time, however, the South Node person, while comfortable, may feel stifled by the relationship. At the same time, the planet person may feel drained by the relationship, for they feel they are constantly ‘giving’ in the relationship.

Despite these issues, the sense of comfort and familiarity may lead these two to reunite over and over. Depending on the rest of the synastry chart (and natal charts), these two may stay together forever, or may eventually break up.

Planets conjunct the North Node 

This aspect indicates these two are meant to learn from and grow with each other. The Node person particularly feels a sense of destiny and fate in this relationship, for the planet person acts like a guide for the Node person to realize their full potential.

This can be quite exhilarating, or frightening, depending on the person’s relationship with their North Node. The planet person brings the North Node person out of their comfort zone and challenges them to learn and grow.

As a result of this, the Node person may pull away from the planet person out of fear of change. They may feel very settled in their South Node qualities and be resistant to any type of transformation.

However, as the planet person matures. the pull of the North Node may be too strong to ignore. The Node person knows the planet person is ‘good’ for them, so they may end up reuniting with the planet person over and over.


In conclusion, we must look at the synastry connections and transits of a couple to determine whether they have the potential to get back together:

  • In synastry, check for harsh Uranus aspects and Nodal connections. These often point to couples who break up and get back together frequently.
  • As for timing, look for retrogrades of Mercury, Venus, Mars in the 7th house or in aspect to the 7th house ruler.


Click here to read How to Read a Synastry Chart

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Marriage Indicators in Synastry

Which Synastry Aspects indicate marriage?

Determining marriage from a synastry chart can be challenging. Sometimes, “obvious” marriage indicators (i.e. planets in each other’s 7th house) fail to predict a couple’s future. After studying several synastry charts of married/long-lasting couples, there were a few aspects which stood out to me. 


Squares to the North Node:

These aspects are said to be indicators of star-crossed lovers. The nodal axis represents our life’s path: the South Node represents “where we’ve been,” while the North Node represents “where we’re going.”

Squares to this axis in synastry indicate an instant feeling of familiarity and attraction to one another. It may be difficult for each person to resist the pull of the relationship. The planet person may be part of an unresolved issue the North Node is carrying from the past, and must resolve in this life.

Some examples:

  • Angelina Jolie’s Moon and Mars square Brad Pitt’s North Node
  • Paul Newman’s Sun squares Joanne Woodward’s North Node, and Joanne’s MC squares Paul’s North Node
  • Victoria Beckham’s Moon squares David’s North Node, Victoria’s North Node squares David’s vertex
  • Linda McCartney’s North Node squares Paul McCartney’s Sun, Mercury, and Jupiter
  • Cash Warren’s ascendant is square Jessica Alba’s North Node
  • Prince William’s Pluto squares Kate Middleton’s North Node, Kate’s Mars squares Will’s North Node
  • Julia Roberts’ Mars squares Danny Morder’s North Node
  • Oprah’s North Node squares Stedman’s Jupiter
  • Bill Clinton’s Sun squares Hillary’s North Node
  • Frank Sinatra’s North Node squares Nancy Sinatra’s Moon and Jupiter
  • Ava Gardner’s North Node squares Frank Sinatra’s Sun, Frank’s Jupiter squares Ava’s North Node
Planets in conjunction or opposition to another’s Vertex:

The Vertex acts like a second Ascendant, while the anti-Vertex is like a second Descendant. The Vertex is often referred to as our “point of fate.” As a result, when someone’s planet or point conjuncts your Vertex or anti-Vertex, you feel drawn towards this person.

The relationship feels fated, and can indeed change your life. You feel destined to be together, and this feeling can easily last a lifetime. One person’s North Node conjunct or opposite another person’s Vertex are apparently very common aspects to find among married partners.

Some examples:

  • Angelina’s Venus/Ascendant conjunct Brad’s Vertex, Brad’s Ascendant conjuncts Angelina’s Vertex
  • Frank Sinatra’s Vertex opposes Nancy Sinatra’s Venus, Nancy’s Vertex opposes Frank’s Part of Fortune
  • Paul Newman’s Moon conjuncts Joanne Woodward’s anti-Vertex; Joanne’s Moon and Mars conjunct Paul’s Vertex. Their Vertexes are conjunct.
  • Victoria Beckham’s anti-Vertex is conjunct David Beckham’s Mercury and opposite North Node.
  • Paul McCartney’s Vertex is conjunct Linda’s South Node
  • Prince William’s Vertex opposite Kate’s Venus
  • Julia Roberts’ North Node is conjunct Danny Morder’s anti-Vertex; Julia’s anti-Vertex is conjunct Danny’s Sun and Mercury. In addition, Danny’s North Node is conjunct Julia’s anti-Vertex
  • Oprah’s Mars conjuncts Stedman’s Vertex, Stedman’s Neptune is conjunct Oprah’s Vertex
  • Hillary Clinton’s Vertex is opposite Bill Clinton’s Moon
Part of Fortune:

I was surprised to see how often conjunctions and oppositions of one person’s planets or points to another person’s Part of Fortune occurred in the charts of married couples!  The Part of Fortune (POF) is the synthesis of a person’s Ascendant, Sun, and Moon, so perhaps it should not be so surprising.

The POF is a point that indicates good fortune. When another person’s planets or points conjunct or oppose your POF, they will likely help you increase your wealth and happiness, and achieve your goals. According to Robert Hand, the POF is also an indicator of the physical body and its relationships with the social world. Thus, it makes sense that POF aspects in synastry are often found in the synastry charts of married couples.

  • Joanne Woodwards’s POF is conjunct Paul Newman’s Sun
  • David Beckham’s Sun is conjunct Victoria’s POF, and David’s POF is conjunct Victoria’s Mars and Saturn
  • Paul McCartney’s POF is conjunct Linda’s Moon and Venus
  • Cash Warren’s POF is conjunct Jessica Alba’s Jupiter/Saturn conjunction
  • Prince William’s POF is opposite Kate Middleton’s POF, Kate’s POF is conjunct Wills’ North Node
  • Danny Morder’s POF is conjunct Julia Roberts’ Mercury, Danny’s Vertex is conjunct Julia’s POF
  • Stedman’s POF is conjunct Oprah’s Jupiter, Oprah’s POF is conjunct Stedman’s Sun, Mercury, and North Node
  • John Lennon’s POF is conjunct Yoko Ono’s POF
  • Hillary Clinton’s POF is opposite Bill’s Mercury and Saturn
  • Frank Sinatra’s POF is conjunct Nancy’s Anti-Vertex
  • Ava Gardner’s POF is opposite Frank Sinatra’s Sun and Mercury
Sun-Venus or Venus-Venus synastry aspects:

Sun-Venus contacts in synastry are highly touted by astrologers, and for good reason! When this aspect appears in synastry, the couple feels affection and love for one another. If these contacts do not show up in synastry, Venus-Venus contacts can be substituted.

When one person’s Venus contacts another person’s Venus, your love styles are similar. You easily get along, and instinctively know how the other person wants to be loved. The conjunction and opposition are most potent, and the trine and sextile are powerful, as well. These aspects indicate instant love and affection for one another, as well as a feeling of joy when you are together. These aspects can indicate a love that lasts forever. When this aspect is mutual, the love is even stronger.

  • Angelina’s Venus opposes Brad’s Venus
  • Paul Newman’s Venus sextiles Joanne’s Venus
  • David Beckham and Victoria Beckham have a Venus/Sun sextile double whammy
  • Paul McCartney’s Venus is opposite Linda’s Venus
  • Prince William’s Venus trines Kate’s sun, Kate’s Venus biquitiles Wills’ Sun
  • Danny Morder and Julia Roberts have a Sun/Venus bi-quintile double whammy
  • Stedman’s Venus is sextile Oprah’s Sun
  • John Lennon’s Venus is opposite Yoko’s Sun, Yoko’s Venus trines John’s Sun
  • Frank Sinatra’s Venus squares Nancy Sinatra’s Sun, Frank’s Sun squares Nancy’s Venus
Venus/Saturn Aspects :

Saturn aspects in synastry are described as « relationship glue ». Saturn is the planet of commitment, while Venus is the planet of Love. As such, couples who have strong Venus-Saturn aspects (especially double-whammies!) in their Synastry charts have little problem committing to each other. These relationships are usually long-lasting.

  • Joanne Woodward’s Saturn conjuncts Paul Newman’s Venus, Paul’s Saturn trines Joanne’s Venus
  • Victoria Beckham’s Saturn is conjunct David’s Venus, David’s Saturn is trine Victoria’s Venus
  • Cash Warren’s Saturn trines Jessica Alba’s Venus, and her Saturn sextiles Cash’s Venus
  • Julia Roberts’s Saturn conjuncts Danny Morder’s Venus, Danny’s Saturn quincunxes Julia’s Venus
  •  Oprah’s Saturn quincunxes Stedman’s Venus, Stedman’s Saturn trines Oprah’s Venus
  • John Lennon’s Saturn squares Yoko Ono’s Venus
  • Ava Gardner’s Saturn squares Frank’s Venus


Looking for more information on love? Click here for:  How to know if he or she is “the One”

Be sure to also check out The Synastry of Physical Attraction