Pluto synastry: who is more obsessed?

Pluto is an incredibly powerful planet, and when it is strongly aspected in synastry, you can feel it!

Pluto is the planet of death, rebirth, deep transformation and psychology. In synastry, it brings an intense and powerful energy to the planet it touches in another person’s chart. We often see it manifest as obsession, fascination, jealousy, intense love & hatred, repulsion, possessiveness, and death/rebirth.

The angle Pluto makes in synastry is very important. Hard aspects, like the conjunction, square and opposition, can bring out the more destructive and toxic traits of Pluto than the sextile or trine, which tend to be powerful in a positive way.

Who is more obsessed in Pluto synastry?

I have mostly been the planet person in previous relationships. It can be difficult to isolate one single aspect’s energy, but I always recognize that Plutonian feeling when it shows up in strong synastry with someone.

There are many factors that go into determining who is more obsessed, such as looking into how each person’s Pluto is aspected in their birth charts, their individual transits, and so on. This can make it very difficult to tell exactly who is more obsessed with who. 

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Image By Sketchepedia

In my two last long term relationships, I was the Venus person in a Pluto square Venus configuration. I was undergoing major Pluto transits at the time we got together. I truly felt I was the more obsessed one at first. I felt helpless; I was totally entranced by him and could not escape his hold.

My Pluto partner seemed to always be in control, and was very jealous and possessive over me. I felt he felt very entitled to my love, and would be angry, vengeful or passive aggressive if he didn’t get it.

In synastry, the planet person feels the energy of their planet intensified and transformed when they are with the Pluto person. Yes, there is intensity, fascination and obsessiveness here. It is as though the planet person is going through a Pluto transit when they are with the Pluto person. 

What about the Pluto person? In my opinion (and experience), the Pluto person is more obsessed, but depending on the type of aspect Pluto makes, and how the person handles their own Pluto, this obsession can be very destructive.

To be clear: this does not mean that the Pluto person is more “in love” than the planet person, but rather feels a great need to control and transform the planet person. 

My ex is a Scorpio with Venus conjunct Pluto in Libra. His Venus/Pluto is exactly square my Venus. He’s a very Scorpionic person, and channeled that energy towards my Venus. He was constantly testing my loyalty and his jealousy and mistrust were ultimately what drove us apart.

My other Venus square Pluto in synastry ex is an Aquarius with Venus square his Pluto and Saturn. His obsessiveness was more understated due to Saturn’s influence. Instead of directly showing his obsession, he would stalk me, showing up at places he knew I’d be.

Pluto is obsessed with controlling and transforming the planet person, which can lead to power struggles when the planet person asserts their independence. In some ways, the planet person may feel like ‘prey’ to the Pluto person. The Pluto person is usually considered the partner with the “upper hand” in these relationships, and is usually more ‘in your face’ with showing their obsessiveness.

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Image by kjpargeter on Freepik

The planet person awakens the Pluto person’s controlling and obsessive side, while the planet person can feel very drawn towards the Pluto person’s depth and intensity, like a moth to a flame. Both parties can feel very out of control when they are with each other, and may even find they bring the worst out of one another, particularly with the hard aspects.

Love-hate themes are common in synastry featuring strong Pluto aspects, and I find they exist more strongly in the Pluto person. I have found that the Pluto person can become vengeful or manipulative when they feel they are losing control over the planet person, but this energy can definitely go both ways. Depending on the condition of the planet person’s Pluto, they can also become quite vengeful and manipulative. 


Have you had strong Pluto contacts in synastry? Were you the planet person or the Pluto person? Who do you think was more obsessed?

Click here to read Marriage Indicators in Synastry.