Compatibility Astrology

Does my Partner Feel the Same Way?

This is a commonly-asked question in astrology which I would like to address. It is easy for one person in a relationship to feel they feel more strongly for their partner, than vice-versa.

How can you tell who feels more strongly for who in a Synastry Chart? What are the indicators of a one-sided relationship? What aspects show synastry compatibility towards one partner, but not the other?

Check out the House Overlays

House overlays are a powerful way to assess how each partner feels for the other person in a relationship. When interpreting a house overlay, it is important to understand how they work in a synastry chart.

When someone’s planet touches one of our houses, we feel the energy very strongly in the area the house represents.

For example, say my partner has their Venus in my 11th house. This means that I see my partner as a friend, above all else. We may have met through friends, and prefer being with our friend group when we are together as a couple.  This is not a particularly romantic house overlay.

However, say my Venus is in my partner’s 8th house. This means I affect my partner is a deep and profound way. I bring out their deep and transformative feelings, and they feel obsessed and enchanted by me. I put them in touch with their primal instincts and show them a side of themselves they have never seen before.

As you can see, overlays to the 8th house feel very different than overlays to the 11th house. The person with the 8th house overlay may feel more strongly for their partner than the other way around. The 8th house person cannot help but feel intensely bonded to the planet person.

On the other hand, the 11th house person may not feel as intensely attracted and enthralled by the relationship, and would rather the two of them stay friends or ‘keep things light’. The 8th house person’s feelings are anything but light, which might make the 8th house person feel their feelings are one-sided.

When assessing your own synastry chart, check out where your partner’s planets land in your houses, and where your planets lie in their chart.

  • 1st house overlays: strong attraction and identification. Also check aspects to each person’s Ascendant.
  • 4th house overlays: strong feeling of attachment and dependency. This person feels like ‘home’ to you.
  • 5th house overlays: feelings of love, playfulness, fun. When someone’s planets fall in this house, you feel romantically attracted to them, and you can see them as the future parent of your children.
  • 7th house overlays: desire for commitment. If someone’s planets fall in this house, you see them as an ideal partner. They might not feel the same way if you have no planets in their 7th house (but check the rest of synastry to determine this)
  • 8th house overlays: desire for merging and deep intimacy. The 8th house person is strongly affected by the planet person. The planet puts them in touch with their deep subconscious feelings, and they want to merge with the planet person.

If you find that your planets mostly fall in your partners 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, or 8th houses, you affect them in a deep and profound level. If your partner’s planets tend to fall in the houses not listed above, you might not feel the same way for your partner.  They simply do not affect you in the same way you affect them.

It is important to note that how your planets aspect each other can override ‘bad’ house placements. More on that below.


romantic couple hugging with a beautiful sunset and planets in the sky Image by Freepik
Venus aspects in synastry

Venus is the planet of love and affection. It shows how we show love and who we are attracted to.

When someone’s natal planets make an aspect to our natal Venus, they awaken our love. How that love is awakened depends on the planet aspecting Venus.

Inner planets are very important to consider here. Having someone’s Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars in aspect to our Venus indicates a strong level of attraction and love.

For example, if your Mars is conjunct my Venus, I feel a passionate love towards you. You feel a strong sexual pull towards me, which is primarily based on physical attraction.

Outer planets are also very important in synastry. If someone’s Jupiter aspects your natal Venus, your loving nature is expanded through your association with this person. You feel very good when you are with them. Saturn in aspect to your Venus indicates this person teaches you how to love and relate in a mature and responsible way. You are willing to commit to them for the long-run.

Someone’s Uranus in aspect to your Venus indicates you feel a strong attraction to them, and you are in love with their uniqueness and individuality. Neptune in aspect to your Venus indicates this person teaches you about unconditional love and you may see them as your soulmate. Finally, someone’s Pluto in aspect to your Venus indicates this person impacts you powerfully and you will likely become romantically obsessed with this person.

But how do they feel about you?

If one partner receives many synastry aspects to their Venus, while the other partner does not receive many synastry aspects to their Venus, a one-sided relationship can be indicated. The person who receives many synastry aspects to their Venus experiences strong feelings of love and affection for their partner because their partner activates their love very strongly.

I find that square aspects between one persons Venus and another person’s planets is most problematic. In this case, the Venus person likely feels unappreciated in the relationship. They may feel they are constantly giving in the relationship, and their partner does not appreciate them.


Have you ever been in a one-sided relationship? What aspects did you share with your partner?

Click here to return to the relationships page



How to read a Synastry Chart

The Synastry chart is one of the most important tools to use when assessing compatibility between two people.

The two areas you want to focus on are: house overlays and planetary aspects. 

House overlays

What are houses? Our natal charts are divided up into 12 houses, which each represent a different area of our life:

Here is a breakdown of what each house represents

  • The first house: represents the self, one’s persona, and one’s physical appearance
  • The second house: represents finances, income, material possessions, and self-worth
  • The third house: represents communications, neighbourhood, siblings, learning, local travel
  • The fourth house represents: family, home, past, ancestry, real estate
  • The fifth house represents: children, creativity, romance, fun, leisure
  • The sixth house represents: work, health, coworkers. productivity
  • The seventh house represents: partnership (business and romantic), commitment, sharing, equality
  • The eighth house represents: intimacy, death, transformation, other people’s money, taxes
  • The ninth house represents: travel, higher learning, philosophy, religion
  • The tenth house represents: career, social status, public reputation
  • The eleventh house represents: friends, groups, long-term goals
  • The twelfth house represents: spirituality, solitude, dreams, illusions

What are planets? Our natal charts contain 10 planets. Each represents a different aspect of our personality.

Here is a simple breakdown of what each planet represents

  • Sun: Your basic personality, ego, individuality
  • Moon: your emotional nature and what makes you feel secure
  • Mercury: your communication style and intellectual interests
  • Venus: your love style, what you find beautiful, your personal style
  • Mars: your determination, passion, and sex drive
  • Jupiter: represents expansion, generosity and luck
  • Saturn: represents structure, maturity, commitment, restriction
  • Uranus: represents instability, freedom, unpredictability
  • Neptune: represents illusions, compassion, sensitivity
  • Pluto: represents transformation, obsession, jealousy, power

When comparing two charts, you can see where each person’s planets land in another person’s chart.

For this exercise, let’s look at Kim and Ye’s Synastry. I generated this report on

When assessing synastry, check to see where your personal planets fall in the other person’s chart:

  • When someone’s planet falls into one of your houses, they bring the energy of that planet into your house.
  • As you can see from their chart, Ye’s Sun/Jupiter conjunction resides in Kim’s 7th house of partnership and commitment– this is an excellent indication of compatibility and marriage. Ye’s Venus and Mars reside in Kim’s 5th house, which is a great indication of romance and having children.
  • Kim’s Sun resides in Ye’s 4th house of home and family. This is again a great indication of a long-lasting relationship

In a romantic relationship, focus on looking for overlays in the following houses:

  • The first house: another person’s planets falling in your 1st house indicate they are very attracted to you. This is especially powerful if the Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars are in another person’s 1st house, as they are deeply personal planets and increase attraction.
  • The fourth house: represents home, family, and emotions. When someone’s planets fall in your 4th house, they feel like family to you, and you enjoy spending time together at home. This is an indication of wanting to build a home and family together.
  • The fifth house: represents romance, children, and fun, so someone’s planets falling in this house is a great aspect.
  • The seventh house: represents commitment, partnership, equality, etc., so it is obviously a very important house to consider in a synastry chart. If someone’s planets fall in your 7th house, you feel compelled to partner with them. They teach you about compromise, relating, and partnership.
  • The eighth house: represents deep intimacy and bonding, so overlays to this house are very powerful and transformative. These types of relationships are not for the faint of heart, but are ultra intense and sexy (if you like that kind of thing).

Check out my articles on house overlays to learn more:

Sun in the Houses in Synastry

Moon in the Houses in Synastry

Venus in the Houses in Synastry

Mars in the Houses in Synastry

Jupiter in the Houses in Synastry

Saturn in the Houses in Synastry

Uranus in the Houses in Synastry

Neptune in the Houses in Synastry

Pluto in the Houses in Synastry


Planetary Aspects

After looking at house overlays, it is equally important to look at the aspects each person’s planets make the other persons’ planets.

To make things easy, you can generate reports in by clicking PDF Additional Tables after generating a report.


Reports like these make is easier to assess your planetary overlays with someone:

In this table, you might not recognize the symbols and numbers.

The symbols within the table show the aspect each planet is making to the other. For example, Ye’s Sun is square Kim’s Venus. Check out this article to learn what the symbols represent. The ones you want to focus on most are: Conjunction, Square, Opposition, Trine, and Sextile.

  • Sextiles and trines are nice, harmonious aspects, and are great to see in a chart.
  • Conjunctions are very powerful, and show compatibility between the energies each planet represents.
  • Oppositions can be problematic, but are usually very fascinating. This is a case of ‘opposites attract’.
  • Squares are considered the most problematic, as they cause friction and lack of understanding between the parties.

If you are looking to assess romantic, long-term compatibility with someone, it is very important to look at how each person’s Love planets are aspected in a chart.

Generally, squares from Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto are not looked upon very favourably, especially if they make an aspect to someone’s personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars).

Check out my synastry articles to read about specific aspects.


It is also extremely important to look at how someone’s planets aspect your 7th house ruler. What is your 7th house ruler?

  • If your 1st house is in Aries, the Composite 7th house ruler is Venus
  • If your 1st house is in Taurus, the Composite 7th house ruler is Pluto
  • If your 1st house is in Gemini, the Composite 7th house ruler is Jupiter
  • If your 1st house is in Cancer, the Composite 7th house ruler is Saturn
  • If your 1st house is in Leo, the Composite house ruler is Uranus
  • If your 1st house is in Virgo, the Composite house ruler is Neptune
  • If your 1st house is in Libra, the Composite house ruler is Mars
  • If your 1st house is in Scorpio, the Composite house ruler is Venus
  • If your 1st house is in Sagittarius, the Composite 7th house ruler is Mercury
  • If your 1st house is in Capricorn, the Composite 7th house ruler is the Moon
  • If your 1st house is in Aquarius, the Composite 7th house ruler is the Sun
  • If your 1st house is in Pisces, the Composite 7th house ruler is Mercury

In my opinion, this is the most important planet to look at when considering long-term compatibility.


All in all, synastry aspects and overlays are extremely important to consider in a synastry chart. However, I believe the Composite Chart is more essential to assess long-term compatibility. Click here to read my article on The Best Composite Chart Aspects.