How to know if he or she is “the One”

Out of all the questions I get from my clients, the most popular is “Is he/she the One?”

There are so many factors that go into whether your partner is your soulmate. I will outline a few below:

  1. Good composite is more important than good synastry
    • This may not be a popular opinion, but throughout my consultations with clients, I notice over and over that good synastry cannot outweigh a bad composite chart. Why is this?
      • A good synastry chart shows the chemistry between two people. It shows if they are attracted to one another and why. It shows basic compatibility between a couple. This is very important when first bringing two people together.
      • The composite chart, on the other hand, relates to the destiny of the couple. It shows what the two of you create when you come together. You could have the most incompatible synastry connection with someone, but if you have a great composite chart, somehow things seem to keep you together.
    • From my personal experience, I’ve had some pretty significant synastric connections with my previous exes. For example, with one man I had Moon conjunct Venus, Mars conjunct Mars, Venus conjunct Ascendant, Venus conjunct Pluto, and a Sun conjunct Saturn double whammy! We were immediately attracted to one another and I was definitely thinking long-term with him. We went on a few dates and things were going well. Then, as things started to progress and things started getting serious, he started to pull away. This confused me – we felt so good in each other’s presence so why the sudden lack of interest?
    • I looked at our Composite chart and found the answer: we had a tight Sun conjunct Saturn AND Moon square Saturn connection. In Composite charts, it is said that the man represents the Sun while the woman represents the Moon. Saturn, on the other hand, rules responsibility, duty and limitations.
    • While he felt very responsible and committed towards me, the relationship, for whatever reason, made both of us feel very insecure. First of all, work always got in the way of our relationship. He was a very busy doctor who worked in another city, which made things difficult to begin with. When we did have time to go out, perfect strangers would tell me I was “too good for him”. He had a lot of difficulty with that – his ego was shattered when people said those things to us. On the other hand, the Moon in square aspect to the Composite Saturn, which I felt very strongly. I felt ignored, neglected, and cold in this relationship because he always seemed to put work ahead of me. To top things off, I didn’t feel I could express my ‘inner child’ around him; I felt I always needed to be a ‘grown-up’ around him, even though he was 3 years younger than me.
    • In the end, him and I didn’t work out. Regardless of what happened, I always felt happy around him when we were together (I credit this to Moon conjunct Venus – it’s really one of the best aspects in synastry you could hope for). However, we could not seem to ever get past the Saturn blockages we faced.
  2. Timing
    • Through Astrology, I have learned that all things come in good time!
    • You could meet someone amazing and feel that you are completely in love, but I find that the timing of your meeting is very helpful in telling whether this relationship will end up as a marriage.
    • Three things to check:
      • Transits:
        • Transits through the 7th house: major planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) can signal a major relationship change.
          • Obviously, Jupiter, the planet of good fortune and expansion, can bring someone into your life. This will likely be a joyful and expansive relationship for you.
          • Saturn entering the 7th can either end a current relationship or bring a new relationship into your life. Saturn can mean an older person or a relationship that will come with its obstacles/burdens along the way. My best friend got married to a man 20 years older than her when Saturn entered her 7th house, but it ended quite suddenly (she is a very Uranian person so Saturn didn’t suit her)
          • Uranus is the planet of freedom and originality. When this planet is in your 7th house, it can bring a new, exciting relationship that fizzles out just as quickly as it started. I do personally know some marriages that began when Uranus was in the 7th house of at least of the partners, but the two people were very different professionally, culturally, and ethnically.
          • Neptune can bring a dreamy love and a true feeling of finding one’s soulmate, while Pluto can bring a complete overhaul in the love department. You could attract a very intense and transformative love relationship at this time.
        • Transits to Venus and the ruler of your 7th house
          • Venus is the planet of love and affection, and has a direct link to relationships and especially soulmates! Because of this, transits to Venus are some of the best indicators of finding the “one”. You definitely want to look out for harmonious aspects to Venus from the outer planets, such as trines and sextiles, and sometimes even conjunctions
          • The ruler of the 7th house represents the type of partner you will end up with. This is very similar to Venus, as it relates to one-on-one partnerships and relationships
          • The BEST love transits are:
            • Jupiter conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Saturn conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Uranus conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Neptune conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Pluto conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
          • I find that a lot of people fall in love during a strong Neptune transit to natal Venus, but these relationships often do not work out. This is because Neptune is the planet of illusion, and by the end of the transit, you may find that the person you fell in love with isn’t the person you thought they were. During a harmonious Neptune-Venus transit, you can easily fall in love and the effects of Neptune will be much less taxing
        • Solar Returns
          • What does your Solar Return chart look like this year? The Solar return shows potentials for the year, including for marriage
          • Each and every Solar Return chart for the years I entered relationships were very heavy in the 5th and 7th houses
          • Look for a well-placed Venus and ruler of the 7th house for more details and clues
          • If you would like an astrologer to take a look at your Solar Return, visit my Consultations page to set up a reading with me
        • Progressions/Solar Arc
          • I don’t think it’s possible to NOT have a special progression or solar arc aspect when meeting the “one”. Progressions show major trends in our lives, so there needs to be some sort of progression involving the 7th house, Venus, or the ruler of the 7th house when the “one” enters your life.
          • Some examples of progression or solar arc aspects indicating love:
            • Progressed Sun-Venus aspects or Venus-Sun aspects – sextile, trine, conjunction
            • Progressed Ascendant-Venus aspects or Progressed Venus-Ascendant aspects – this one is the best indication for finding love
            • Progressed Venus-ruler of the 7th house or ruler of the 7th house to Venus aspects – indicates love and union
            • Progressed planets in the 7th house
            • Progressed planets making a harmonious aspect to the 7th house or 7th house ruler

I truly believe that true love comes down to compatibility, which is reflected through the synastry and composite charts, but it really comes down to the timing. THE UNIVERSE WILL NOT SEND YOU THE ‘ONE’ UNTIL YOU ARE READY. For those of you worried about your romantic future, fear not! You will find the ‘one’ in good time.

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When will I find love? Part 2- the Progressed Chart

You can find this article on my new and improved site, http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady

Progressed charts are calculated by adding one day for each year you are born to your natal chart. For example, if you were born on January 1, 1980, and you are now 25 years old, your progressed chart would be calculated by drafting a chart for January 26, 1980. Progressions show trends which set off major events in your life, and are reinforced by the transits you are experiencing at the time.

One of the most reliable indications in the progressed chart of meeting a new mate is to look at the condition of your progressed Venus in your Chart, as well as progressions to your natal Venus by other planets. Here are some progressions which indicate the beginning of an important relationship.

  • Progressed Venus to Ascendant/Descendant axis: The Ascendant/Descendant axis represents the “self” and the “other”. The Ascendant represents our self-image and how we approach the world, while the Descendant represents our one-on-one partnerships, including marriage partners and business associates. When progressed Venus makes an aspect to our AC/DC axis, we feel more sociable, attractive, and loving, which helps us attract partners into our lives. The same goes for when progressed Ascendant aspects one’s natal Venus. For example, I met my first boyfriend when progressed Venus was sextile my natal Ascendant.
  • Progressed Venus to natal Sun: This is one of the most reliable indications of the beginning of a major relationship. This is often the time when we meet the “love of our life”. This is also true of progressed Sun aspecting one’s natal Venus. Both progressions indicate a time where we feel most attractive, and thus our powers of attraction are most potent. This is often the time we meet our marriage partner.
  • Progressed Venus to natal Moon: This progression brings about a loving relationship which is often characterised by feelings of dependency, mutual support, and emotional development. The conjunction, sextile, and trine bring generally pleasing, supportive contacts, while the square and opposition often bring resistance and adjustments in regards to the direction of your relationship. The same goes for progressed Moon to Venus contacts.
  • Progressed Venus to natal Mars: This progression often brings about an intense, sexual union. Passion is at the forefront of your relationships. This can also indicate a time in which you meet the person you have children with.
  • Progressed Venus to Jupiter: This progression often brings about partners from a foreign culture. Events like marriage are likely to take place during this progression. This also indicates a positive time for socializing and making new friends. The same goes for progressed Jupiter on one’s natal Venus.
  • Progressed Venus to Saturn: This progression can bring about heavy commitments, and might bring relationships with older partners. This time is wonderful for beginning long-term relationships, such as marriage. This is especially true of Venus conjunct, sextile, or trine one’s natal Saturn. In fact, my mother met my father when Venus was conjunct her natal Saturn. My father is 12 years older than my mother. The square and opposition tend to have the opposite effect; it is a time of loneliness and disconnect from others. Venus has just moved one degree past squaring my natal Saturn, and I couldn’t be happier about it. The last few years have been incredibly unsuccessful in regards to love, my sense of loneliness increased greatly, and my social life was practically non-existent.
  • Progressed Venus to Uranus: This progression brings different, exciting relationships into our lives. We reject convention and tradition under this influence, so this transit can also be an indication of separation from a partner in favor of a more exciting, yet unstable, relationship. This is a time where your love life takes a “walk on the wild side” with someone different than what you’re used to. For example, your new mate could be from a different cultural background, or you may begin a long-distance relationship. Hard aspects between progressed Venus and Uranus are especially indicative of (sudden) separations.
  • Progressed Venus to Neptune: This progression can indicate the time when you find your soul mate. Your sensitivity and compassion for others increases during this time, and you feel more open to love in general. If the progression is a square or opposition, you may be deceived or disillusioned by a mate. The trine and sextile are generally positive times. Marriages often occur under this influence.
  • Progressed Venus to Pluto: This progression awakens powerful emotions, and changes the way you approach love and sexuality, as well as intimacy. This is a time when we are attracted to the taboo and the forbidden, and this can manifest through our choice of partner (i.e. falling in love with an “unavailable” person), or through sex (exploring sexual taboos with one’s partner). Relationships begun under this transit are marked by intensity, obsession, possessiveness, and power games. The sextile and trine are intense in a pleasing, manageable way, while the conjunction, square, and opposition can lead to extreme jealousy, obsession, and even sexual/financial exploitation or abuse.