How to know if he or she is “the One”

Out of all the questions I get from my clients, the most popular is “Is he/she the One?”

There are so many factors that go into whether your partner is your soulmate. I will outline a few below:

  1. Good composite is more important than good synastry
    • This may not be a popular opinion, but throughout my consultations with clients, I notice over and over that good synastry cannot outweigh a bad composite chart. Why is this?
      • A good synastry chart shows the chemistry between two people. It shows if they are attracted to one another and why. It shows basic compatibility between a couple. This is very important when first bringing two people together.
      • The composite chart, on the other hand, relates to the destiny of the couple. It shows what the two of you create when you come together. You could have the most incompatible synastry connection with someone, but if you have a great composite chart, somehow things seem to keep you together.
    • From my personal experience, I’ve had some pretty significant synastric connections with my previous exes. For example, with one man I had Moon conjunct Venus, Mars conjunct Mars, Venus conjunct Ascendant, Venus conjunct Pluto, and a Sun conjunct Saturn double whammy! We were immediately attracted to one another and I was definitely thinking long-term with him. We went on a few dates and things were going well. Then, as things started to progress and things started getting serious, he started to pull away. This confused me – we felt so good in each other’s presence so why the sudden lack of interest?
    • I looked at our Composite chart and found the answer: we had a tight Sun conjunct Saturn AND Moon square Saturn connection. In Composite charts, it is said that the man represents the Sun while the woman represents the Moon. Saturn, on the other hand, rules responsibility, duty and limitations.
    • While he felt very responsible and committed towards me, the relationship, for whatever reason, made both of us feel very insecure. First of all, work always got in the way of our relationship. He was a very busy doctor who worked in another city, which made things difficult to begin with. When we did have time to go out, perfect strangers would tell me I was “too good for him”. He had a lot of difficulty with that – his ego was shattered when people said those things to us. On the other hand, the Moon in square aspect to the Composite Saturn, which I felt very strongly. I felt ignored, neglected, and cold in this relationship because he always seemed to put work ahead of me. To top things off, I didn’t feel I could express my ‘inner child’ around him; I felt I always needed to be a ‘grown-up’ around him, even though he was 3 years younger than me.
    • In the end, him and I didn’t work out. Regardless of what happened, I always felt happy around him when we were together (I credit this to Moon conjunct Venus – it’s really one of the best aspects in synastry you could hope for). However, we could not seem to ever get past the Saturn blockages we faced.
  2. Timing
    • Through Astrology, I have learned that all things come in good time!
    • You could meet someone amazing and feel that you are completely in love, but I find that the timing of your meeting is very helpful in telling whether this relationship will end up as a marriage.
    • Three things to check:
      • Transits:
        • Transits through the 7th house: major planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) can signal a major relationship change.
          • Obviously, Jupiter, the planet of good fortune and expansion, can bring someone into your life. This will likely be a joyful and expansive relationship for you.
          • Saturn entering the 7th can either end a current relationship or bring a new relationship into your life. Saturn can mean an older person or a relationship that will come with its obstacles/burdens along the way. My best friend got married to a man 20 years older than her when Saturn entered her 7th house, but it ended quite suddenly (she is a very Uranian person so Saturn didn’t suit her)
          • Uranus is the planet of freedom and originality. When this planet is in your 7th house, it can bring a new, exciting relationship that fizzles out just as quickly as it started. I do personally know some marriages that began when Uranus was in the 7th house of at least of the partners, but the two people were very different professionally, culturally, and ethnically.
          • Neptune can bring a dreamy love and a true feeling of finding one’s soulmate, while Pluto can bring a complete overhaul in the love department. You could attract a very intense and transformative love relationship at this time.
        • Transits to Venus and the ruler of your 7th house
          • Venus is the planet of love and affection, and has a direct link to relationships and especially soulmates! Because of this, transits to Venus are some of the best indicators of finding the “one”. You definitely want to look out for harmonious aspects to Venus from the outer planets, such as trines and sextiles, and sometimes even conjunctions
          • The ruler of the 7th house represents the type of partner you will end up with. This is very similar to Venus, as it relates to one-on-one partnerships and relationships
          • The BEST love transits are:
            • Jupiter conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Saturn conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Uranus conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Neptune conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Pluto conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
          • I find that a lot of people fall in love during a strong Neptune transit to natal Venus, but these relationships often do not work out. This is because Neptune is the planet of illusion, and by the end of the transit, you may find that the person you fell in love with isn’t the person you thought they were. During a harmonious Neptune-Venus transit, you can easily fall in love and the effects of Neptune will be much less taxing
        • Solar Returns
          • What does your Solar Return chart look like this year? The Solar return shows potentials for the year, including for marriage
          • Each and every Solar Return chart for the years I entered relationships were very heavy in the 5th and 7th houses
          • Look for a well-placed Venus and ruler of the 7th house for more details and clues
          • If you would like an astrologer to take a look at your Solar Return, visit my Consultations page to set up a reading with me
        • Progressions/Solar Arc
          • I don’t think it’s possible to NOT have a special progression or solar arc aspect when meeting the “one”. Progressions show major trends in our lives, so there needs to be some sort of progression involving the 7th house, Venus, or the ruler of the 7th house when the “one” enters your life.
          • Some examples of progression or solar arc aspects indicating love:
            • Progressed Sun-Venus aspects or Venus-Sun aspects – sextile, trine, conjunction
            • Progressed Ascendant-Venus aspects or Progressed Venus-Ascendant aspects – this one is the best indication for finding love
            • Progressed Venus-ruler of the 7th house or ruler of the 7th house to Venus aspects – indicates love and union
            • Progressed planets in the 7th house
            • Progressed planets making a harmonious aspect to the 7th house or 7th house ruler

I truly believe that true love comes down to compatibility, which is reflected through the synastry and composite charts, but it really comes down to the timing. THE UNIVERSE WILL NOT SEND YOU THE ‘ONE’ UNTIL YOU ARE READY. For those of you worried about your romantic future, fear not! You will find the ‘one’ in good time.

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Venus conjunct South Node in Synastry

 

Venus conjunct the South Node: This aspect denotes a “past-life” connection between the two individuals. In the past life, the two were most likely lovers/partners. External forces or circumstances beyond the individuals’ control led to a separation, which transformed into a sense of longing and yearning for one another, which has continued into this lifetime. Now, the individuals have been reunited in this lifetime to “close the books” on their relationship in order to move forward and learn to love independently from one another.

In nodal synastry, it is generally the node person who feels the connection more deeply, or at least, is more aware of the connection. In all nodal connections, there is a sense of fear or discomfort, especially on the part of the nodal person. Being with the planet person reminds them of their past life, which may have been traumatic or unpleasant for the nodal person for whatever reason.

Many synastry articles regarding South Node connections imply that the South Node person may eventually feel held back or drained by the planet person, but I’ve found this to be true for the opposite case; that the planet person feels held back by the nodal person. Other articles infer that the South Node was very kind to the planet person in a past life, and now, the planet person feels the need to pay the South Node person back in form of compliments, gifts, or activities related to the house in which the conjunction resides. This can be draining for the Venus person, who may feel “held back” by the relationship and feel the need to move on. I’ve also found that Venus’ sense of self-worth is often compromised by the union due to the desire to “please” the South Node person in any way they can.
Either way, the connection is very strong with this aspect. There is a sense of familiarity and comfort with this aspect; both have known each other from a past life, so love “comes easy” with this placement. The South Node person feels the Venus person understands them better than anyone, and the Venus person feels a sense of ease and comfort around the South Node person. The attraction is through the roof with this placement. You “recognize” each other. Since the South Node represents the area we have mastered in a past life, the planet person can learn a lot from the South Node about their habits related to their own Venus. I have heard countless stories of couples with this aspect in synastry, and one common element I’ve found with this aspect is that at least one of the individuals was “not supposed to be” at the location of their meeting on the day they met, and that they spotted each other early on and watched each other for a while before they spoke to each other.

South Node connections are often regarded as “negative”, in that they often indicate an ending of some sort. I believe South Node connections can indeed last a lifetime, depending on each person’s relationship with their own South Node in the natal chart. Another indication of a lasting South Node relationship is if the couple also has North Node connections, which “balances” the synastry, so that both individuals feel both comfortable and feel that they are developing themselves through the union.

For example, Victoria Beckham’s Venus is conjunct David Beckham’s South node. David Beckham’s own South Node is conjunct his Mars, so we can infer that David is “South Node-oriented”; he tends to “fall back” on his South Node habitually. There is a sense of familiarity and comfort between David and Victoria. In fact, David first fell for Victoria after seeing her on the television, and Victoria fell in love with David after seeing him in a sports magazine; there was an instant “recognition” of each other.

My ex boyfriend and I had a very tight Venus-South Node connection. His own Venus conjuncted his South node in his natal chart, so, like David Beckham, he tends to “fall back” on his South Node. He was an incredibly good-looking, charming man (since his Venus conjuncts his South Node, his Venus is very well-developed), and I fell for him instantly. I was the only person he ever felt understood him, and he’d often describe me as his ideal mate. I was similarly enthralled by him, and I did anything and everything to please him. I’m not the type to give away complimetns easily (my Venus is in Capricorn), but I would compliment him regularly.

Venus in Capricorn

You can find descriptions of all Venus signs on my new and improved site, http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady

Venus is the planet of love, beauty, harmony, relationships, and describes what we find beautiful, as well as what kind of partner we desire.

Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet of restriction, reality, hard work, and commitment. Capricorn is the natural ruler of the 10th house, the house of public life, career, and notoriety.

Love style: When Venus is in Capricorn, duty, commitment, hard work, and reality are at the forefront of our love lives. Venus in Capricorn natives do not take relationships lightly; on the contrary, they see relationships as “work”, and thus take their partnerships very seriously. People with this placement suffer from a strong fear of rejection, which can lead to missed opportunities in love. They also may suffer from a lack of confidence in regards to their self-worth; they may feel “unworthy” of love, and are often wary of their partners (at least, in the beginning). Venus in Capricorn natives can appear cold, uninterested, and aloof towards their partners, but this does not mean they are not interested. Opening up one’s heart, in their view, is dangerous, as it increases the opportunity for them to get hurt. Vulnerability is what they fear most of all.  Venus in Capricorn is also very preoccupied with appearing cool and collected, and dislike showing their emotions. If you hurt a Venus Capricorn, they will do everything to make you think it doesn’t bother them, even if it hurts inside.

How to get a Venus Capricorn to commit: It can take a very long time for a Venus in Capricorn native to commit to you. It’s not that they are not interested, but they prefer to build a strong, secure foundation for a relationship rather than  to “jump right in”. Indeed, Venus in Capricorn are “risk-averse” when it come to matters of the heart. They must be 100% certain they can trust you, and that you’re capable of having a long-term committed relationship before they give their heart to you.

The best way to get a Venus Capricorn to commit is to be patient. People with this placement are petrified of getting hurt, so they often hide their feelings about you under a veil of aloofness and emotional distancing, which can be confusing for their partners. When a Venus Capricorn commits, however, they make excellent partners. While they aren’t affectionate in the traditional way, they show their love through practical means by doing things for you.
What kind of partner they seek: Venus in Capricorn natives are attracted to older, mature, successful partners. They are also attracted to business types. Basically, stability and security is what attracts them most. Partners who appear to “have it together” are very appealing to them.

Keep reading more on my new and improved site, http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady