How to know if he or she is “the One”

Out of all the questions I get from my clients, the most popular is “Is he/she the One?”

There are so many factors that go into whether your partner is your soulmate. I will outline a few below:

  1. Good composite is more important than good synastry
    • This may not be a popular opinion, but throughout my consultations with clients, I notice over and over that good synastry cannot outweigh a bad composite chart. Why is this?
      • A good synastry chart shows the chemistry between two people. It shows if they are attracted to one another and why. It shows basic compatibility between a couple. This is very important when first bringing two people together.
      • The composite chart, on the other hand, relates to the destiny of the couple. It shows what the two of you create when you come together. You could have the most incompatible synastry connection with someone, but if you have a great composite chart, somehow things seem to keep you together.
    • From my personal experience, I’ve had some pretty significant synastric connections with my previous exes. For example, with one man I had Moon conjunct Venus, Mars conjunct Mars, Venus conjunct Ascendant, Venus conjunct Pluto, and a Sun conjunct Saturn double whammy! We were immediately attracted to one another and I was definitely thinking long-term with him. We went on a few dates and things were going well. Then, as things started to progress and things started getting serious, he started to pull away. This confused me – we felt so good in each other’s presence so why the sudden lack of interest?
    • I looked at our Composite chart and found the answer: we had a tight Sun conjunct Saturn AND Moon square Saturn connection. In Composite charts, it is said that the man represents the Sun while the woman represents the Moon. Saturn, on the other hand, rules responsibility, duty and limitations.
    • While he felt very responsible and committed towards me, the relationship, for whatever reason, made both of us feel very insecure. First of all, work always got in the way of our relationship. He was a very busy doctor who worked in another city, which made things difficult to begin with. When we did have time to go out, perfect strangers would tell me I was “too good for him”. He had a lot of difficulty with that – his ego was shattered when people said those things to us. On the other hand, the Moon in square aspect to the Composite Saturn, which I felt very strongly. I felt ignored, neglected, and cold in this relationship because he always seemed to put work ahead of me. To top things off, I didn’t feel I could express my ‘inner child’ around him; I felt I always needed to be a ‘grown-up’ around him, even though he was 3 years younger than me.
    • In the end, him and I didn’t work out. Regardless of what happened, I always felt happy around him when we were together (I credit this to Moon conjunct Venus – it’s really one of the best aspects in synastry you could hope for). However, we could not seem to ever get past the Saturn blockages we faced.
  2. Timing
    • Through Astrology, I have learned that all things come in good time!
    • You could meet someone amazing and feel that you are completely in love, but I find that the timing of your meeting is very helpful in telling whether this relationship will end up as a marriage.
    • Three things to check:
      • Transits:
        • Transits through the 7th house: major planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) can signal a major relationship change.
          • Obviously, Jupiter, the planet of good fortune and expansion, can bring someone into your life. This will likely be a joyful and expansive relationship for you.
          • Saturn entering the 7th can either end a current relationship or bring a new relationship into your life. Saturn can mean an older person or a relationship that will come with its obstacles/burdens along the way. My best friend got married to a man 20 years older than her when Saturn entered her 7th house, but it ended quite suddenly (she is a very Uranian person so Saturn didn’t suit her)
          • Uranus is the planet of freedom and originality. When this planet is in your 7th house, it can bring a new, exciting relationship that fizzles out just as quickly as it started. I do personally know some marriages that began when Uranus was in the 7th house of at least of the partners, but the two people were very different professionally, culturally, and ethnically.
          • Neptune can bring a dreamy love and a true feeling of finding one’s soulmate, while Pluto can bring a complete overhaul in the love department. You could attract a very intense and transformative love relationship at this time.
        • Transits to Venus and the ruler of your 7th house
          • Venus is the planet of love and affection, and has a direct link to relationships and especially soulmates! Because of this, transits to Venus are some of the best indicators of finding the “one”. You definitely want to look out for harmonious aspects to Venus from the outer planets, such as trines and sextiles, and sometimes even conjunctions
          • The ruler of the 7th house represents the type of partner you will end up with. This is very similar to Venus, as it relates to one-on-one partnerships and relationships
          • The BEST love transits are:
            • Jupiter conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Saturn conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Uranus conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Neptune conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
            • Pluto conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
          • I find that a lot of people fall in love during a strong Neptune transit to natal Venus, but these relationships often do not work out. This is because Neptune is the planet of illusion, and by the end of the transit, you may find that the person you fell in love with isn’t the person you thought they were. During a harmonious Neptune-Venus transit, you can easily fall in love and the effects of Neptune will be much less taxing
        • Solar Returns
          • What does your Solar Return chart look like this year? The Solar return shows potentials for the year, including for marriage
          • Each and every Solar Return chart for the years I entered relationships were very heavy in the 5th and 7th houses
          • Look for a well-placed Venus and ruler of the 7th house for more details and clues
          • If you would like an astrologer to take a look at your Solar Return, visit my Consultations page to set up a reading with me
        • Progressions/Solar Arc
          • I don’t think it’s possible to NOT have a special progression or solar arc aspect when meeting the “one”. Progressions show major trends in our lives, so there needs to be some sort of progression involving the 7th house, Venus, or the ruler of the 7th house when the “one” enters your life.
          • Some examples of progression or solar arc aspects indicating love:
            • Progressed Sun-Venus aspects or Venus-Sun aspects – sextile, trine, conjunction
            • Progressed Ascendant-Venus aspects or Progressed Venus-Ascendant aspects – this one is the best indication for finding love
            • Progressed Venus-ruler of the 7th house or ruler of the 7th house to Venus aspects – indicates love and union
            • Progressed planets in the 7th house
            • Progressed planets making a harmonious aspect to the 7th house or 7th house ruler

I truly believe that true love comes down to compatibility, which is reflected through the synastry and composite charts, but it really comes down to the timing. THE UNIVERSE WILL NOT SEND YOU THE ‘ONE’ UNTIL YOU ARE READY. For those of you worried about your romantic future, fear not! You will find the ‘one’ in good time.

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Neptune transits your Natal Venus

 

 

When Neptune aspects your natal Venus…

…your sensitivity and compassion towards others increases. Neptune represents delusion, illusion, dreams, addictions, and self-sacrifice. Under this influence, you are especially charming, romantic, and open to love. Due to an increase in sensitivity, you are easily seduced during this time, as well. You are vulnerable to romantic fantasy and over-idealizing partners, so be careful to see partners for who they are. Under this influence, you are more likely to “see what you want” in partners, which can often lead to disappointment once the transit is over. Under this transit, we are wearing rose-colored glasses; we see beauty in all people, and only want to think the best of them. Either way, you open your heart during this transit, which gives you the opportunity to experience the purest form of love you could ever have. This influence often brings a relationship into our lives, and we often believe this person is our soul mate. We idealize the person and make excuses for their faults, and ignore indications that the person is anything less than perfect. Relationship behaviors we would not normally approve of are now regarded as acceptable.

 

 

If the aspect is a conjunction, square, or opposition, the native must be extra careful to not over-idealize the partner and ignore red flags, as the threat of deception is strong. As Neptune moves away from Venus, the native becomes less enchanted by their mate; the native begins to see the person as they really are, which often leads to disappointment. The end of the transit can also manifest in the discovery of infidelity on the part of the partner; the native ignored red flags and made excuses for their partner’s behavior instead of facing the truth about the situation. The partners you find under this influence are generally Piscean, or have strong Neptune in the chart. The Synastry and Composite charts generally have strong Neptune or Pisces aspects/placements.

 

 

Check the house position of your Venus, and which houses Venus rule in your chart in order to get a better idea of how the transit will manifest.

 

 

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 1st house, others may see what they want in you during this cycle, either because of the way you project yourself or their own delusions. You appear glamorous to others. You may experience an identity crisis. You may change your physical appearance to appear more artistic.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 2nd house, you may become careless or confused in regards to money issues. Beware of “get rich quick” schemes.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 3rd house, you are far more imaginative than usual. You may become interested in poetry and creative writing. Your communication style may be confusing to others.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 4th house, you may find it difficult to rely on your family at the moment. You may choose to relocate somewhere near water.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 5th house, your approach to love and romance are transformed. The danger of being deceived by a partner is increased at this time.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 6th house, you may decide to take time off work, or become more lazy in regards to your work habits. Health is sensitive at this time, so be careful. Colleagues may be undependable.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 7th house, you may begin a new relationship with someone with Piscean qualities. He or she may not be what they appear to be, so be careful.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 8th house, you may experience confusing in regards to your shared resources. Sex is likely to take on a spiritual tone at this time.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 9th house, a transformation of your beliefs and/or religious system may take place. Your worldview is likely to change. You may travel somewhere, and discover something new about yourself. You may become interested in philosophy and higher education during this time.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 10th house, you may experience confusing in regards to your life’s direction and career. You may decide to take on a career involving taking care of others, such as counseling. This is an amazing time in the career of poets, musicians and artists.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 11th house, you may feel drained when it comes to socializing in big groups. You may make friends with artistic types. Be sure that you are seeing friends for who they really are, and not who they appear to be.

If Venus rules, or is situated in your 12th house, you may have difficulty expressing yourself. Stay away from drugs and alcohol, as you are more susceptible to addictions at this time.

“Guy Magnet” Transits

“Guy Magnet” Transits

 

Venus in aspect to your natal Sun: Transits from the planet of beauty and aesthetics to your Sun increases your attractiveness to others. You are charming and sociable during this time, and instinctively know what looks good, and what doesn’t. You attract attention from the opposite sex easily now. You are also bound to get plenty of compliments! The same goes for the transiting Sun in aspect to your natal Venus.

 

Venus in aspect to your Ascendant: When Venus transits your Ascendant, our personal magnetism is high! You are likely to draw in many admirers during this time, as the planet of beauty is shining on your Ascendant, which represents your physical body and appearance. You look great, feel great, and everyone notices!

 

Venus in aspect to your natal Mars: When the planet of love and beauty contact your planet of sex, your powers of attraction are very high! Your raw, aggressive, Martian nature is toned down, and your attractiveness is heightened. Under this transit, you are likely to be pursued. Passion and romance are favored during this transit. This is especially true of the conjunction, trine, and sextile. The square and opposition can be tricky, as the transit can indicate tension and challenges when it comes to satisfying both your romantic and physical needs. Members of the opposite sex might come on too strong at this time. Nevertheless, it’s a sexy transit.

 

Venus in aspect to Jupiter: During this transit, you are more open to socializing, and have optimistic feelings towards love and romance. Your positive attitude towards relationships get the notice of others- who wouldn’t be attracted to a positive, happy person? Social opportunities are abound during this transit, so take full advantage! This is especially true of the conjunction, sextile, and trine. The square and opposition could lead you to make foolish risks or overstate your feelings.

 

Venus in aspect to Uranus: Your desire for change, excitement and newness increases during this transit. You are no longer afraid of taking risks in love, and unpredictable meetings and romantic opportunities appear. You may experience impulsive attractions to people you had never thought to date before. Under this transit, your carefree attitude gets the attention of all! This is especially true of the sextile, trine, and conjunction. The square and opposition can bring disappointments, separations, and/or “what was I thinking?” moments in love.

 

Venus in aspect to Neptune: Your compassion, sensitivity and fantasy are stimulated under this transit, which makes you easy to seduce. This often represents a “magical” time in your love life, as you are inclined to see the best in people. This is especially true of the conjunction, sextile and trine. The square and opposition can lead to delusion and disappointments.

 

Venus in aspect to Pluto: Your powers of attraction are heightened during this period! Your presence is strong, and others take notice. You feel passionate, sexy, and confident, which is likely to get the attention of many admirers. You may experience a deep level of intimacy with someone during this time. The attractions you feel at this time are often karmic or fated. This is especially true of the conjunction, trine and sextile. The square and opposition often bring about jealousy, possessiveness, and power struggles.

 

Mars in aspect to your natal Venus: During this transit, the planet of sex aspects your planet of love, increasing your aggressiveness and powers of attraction. You are sexy, confident, and self-assured during this transit. You are less inhibited, which catches the eye of many potential suitors. You may be more direct and assertive during this transit, and you are likely to be the pursuer. In fact, you might develop sexual feelings for just about everyone you meet during this transit!

 

Jupiter in aspect to your natal Venus: During this period, you are more optimistic and hopeful when it comes to matters of the heart. You are sociable, affectionate and loving. People take notice of your open, positive nature. This is often the time when you meet someone new, or increase your dating opportunities. This is also a time where you will have many invites to social gatherings, which increases your chances of gaining admirers. You may find you attract people of different ethnic backgrounds during this time. In fact, during this transit, you are the life of the party!

 

Uranus in aspect to your natal Venus: When Uranus, the planet of independence, individuality, uniqueness, and excitement transits your natal Venus, your personal magnetism is sky high! You are carefree and daring during this cycle, which gains the attention of many admirers. This transit is often marked by a significant increase in dates and social gatherings. You might not feel like having a commitment during this time, but you’re definitely up for some fun! Many people look back fondly on this transit, describing it as the “time of my life”. The men you attract during this transit will have Aquarian characteristics, and are likely to be highly attractive. This is especially true of the conjunction, sextile, and trine. The square and opposition bring plenty of opportunities, as well.

 

Neptune in aspect to your natal Venus: Under this influence, you are especially charming, romantic, and open to love. Due to an increase in sensitivity, you are easily seduced during this time, as well. You are vulnerable to romantic fantasy and over-idealizing partners, so be careful to see partners for who they are. Either way, you open your heart during this transit, which gives you the opportunity to experience the purest form of love you could ever have. This is especially true of the conjunction, trine, and sextile. The opposition and squares bring relationship opportunities, but these can end in deception and disappointment once the transit is over and the rose-colored glasses have come off.

 

Pluto in aspect to your natal Venus: During this transit, you are searching for depth and intimacy in your relationships. Relationships begun during this transit are marked by intensity, obsession, and possessiveness. Your powers of attraction are very high during this time, so use them to your advantage. This is especially true of the conjunction, sextile, and trine. The square and opposition can bring unhealthy relationships, marked by sexual and/or financial exploitation, power struggles, and even abuse.

 

Check out my new and improved site for more great astrology articles! http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady

When will I find Love? Part 1- Outer Planet Transits

You can find this article on my new and improved site, http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady

 

There are numerous ways of predicting the beginning of a relationship. One of the most reliable indications is when an outer planet (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune or Pluto) makes an aspect to your natal Venus, the ruler of your 5th house, and/or the ruler of your 7th house. For this section, I will only refer to transits to natal Venus, but you can apply these transits to the ruler of your 5th and/or 7th houses, as well.

Outer planets transiting your natal Venus: often indicate the beginning (or ending- depending on the transit) of a relationship. The planet transiting your Venus and the aspect that planet makes to your Venus will tell you what kind of relationship will come into your life. Let’s review the nature of the outer planets, and discuss the type of relationship that will enter your life when it makes an aspect to your natal Venus.

  • Jupiter: When Jupiter conjuncts, sextiles, trines, opposes, or squares your Venus, your desire for a partner and loving feelings expand. Jupiter is the planet of abundance, good luck, and expansion. Jupiter thus expands your love sector during this time and increases your opportunities for romance. This is especially true for the conjunction, trine and sextile aspects. With the square and opposition, you may take foolish risks in love. While Jupiter transits, on their own, do not necessarily indicate the beginning of a long-term, life changing romance, it can indicate a positive time for dating and creating new social connections.
  • Saturn: is the planet of restriction, realism, commitment, and hard work. When Saturn conjuncts, sextiles, or trines your natal Venus, you become more serious about settling down and are attracted to stable, mature relationships. Indeed, this is a very commitment-friendly transit because you are more attracted to long-term relationships. Many people find themselves settling down or reinforcing commitments to their partners during this time. If you begin a relationship at this time, it is likely to be serious and long-lasting. Strong Saturn contact should show up in composite and synastry charts, and your partner is likely to have strong Saturn/Capricorn aspects in his/her chart.
  • Uranus: When Uranus aspects your natal Venus by transit, you crave excitement in your relationships. Uranus often brings us non-traditional relationships/partners (i.e. partners from a different culture, background, etc.), which usually begin (and end) very suddenly. Timing Uranus transits is very simple, as events tend to occur at the time Uranus makes an exact aspect to your Venus (by exact, I mean the aspect is within 11 minutes of exact). Uranus-Venus relationships are characterized as sudden, impermanent, non-traditional, and exciting. What usually happens is a sudden encounter with the “man/woman of your dreams”, and the native often experiences “love at first sight”. The energy between the two is electric and exciting, but not stable, and the relationship often lacks any real commitment. Uranus transits serve to jolt us awake through events that force us to throw out any previous behaviors or habits we tend to cling to. This is especially true for emotionally clingy, needy people, or people who are inherently stable and afraid of change. Uranus relationships are difficult to control, and manipulative tactics are completely useless in getting what we want out of the relationship. The native must learn to “let go” of expectations and control, or he or she will suffer greatly from this transit. Because Uranus is characterized by impermanence and excitement, many find that relationships begun under this influence often end when the initial spark fizzles and one of the partners gets bored and feels the need to move on.  Sometimes, when the transit is over, the native may say, “what was I thinking, being in that relationship?” due to the fact that partners are generally chosen for the fact that they are “different” and “exciting”, rather than suitable, which becomes more and more apparent as Uranus moves away from their natal Venus. This period can also be marked by increased promiscuity on the part of the native. Uranus on one’s Venus increases one’s magnetism, so the likelihood of meeting several partners increases. A good friend of mine characterised her Uranus opposite Venus transits as: “Lots of one-night stands, and lots of partying.”  This is especially true with the conjunction, square and opposition. Sextiles and trines are generally more stable influences, but have that Uranian spark to them nonetheless.  The partners you find under this transit are generally Aquarius or Uranian, or the syanstry or composite charts have strong Aquarian/Uranian influences.
  • Neptune: When Neptune aspects your natal Venus, your sensitivity and compassion towards others increases. Neptune represents delusion, illusion, dreams, addictions, and self-sacrifice. Under this influence, you are more likely to “see what you want” in partners, which can often lead to disappointment once the transit is over. Under this transit, we are wearing rose-colored glasses; we see beauty in all people, and only want to think the best of them. This influence often brings a relationship into our lives, and we often believe this person is our soul mate. We idealize the person and make excuses for their faults, and ignore indications that the person is anything less than perfect. Relationship behaviors we would not normally approve of are now regarded as acceptable. If the aspect is a conjunction, square, or opposition, the native must be extra careful to not over-idealize the partner and ignore red flags, as the threat of deception is strong. As Neptune moves away from Venus, the native becomes less enchanted by their mate; the native begins to see the person as they really are, which often leads to disappointment. The end of the transit can also manifest in the discovery of infidelity on the part of the partner; the native ignored red flags and made excuses for their partner’s behavior instead of facing the truth about the situation. The partners you find under this influence are generally Piscean, or have strong Neptune in the chart. The Synastry and Composite charts generally have strong Neptune or Pisces aspects/placement.
  • Pluto: When Pluto transits your natal Venus, you are no longer satisfied with superficial relationship; you want something deep, complex, and consuming. Pluto is the planet of “death”, therefore there is usually a death of some kind in regards to relationships (i.e. death of an existing relationship, death of previous relationship behaviours). For example this influence can also bring about an affair, or finding out one’s partner has been having an affair. This is a very “sexy” transit, and the attractions you have during this transit are often intense and obsessive, and sexual drives are generally strong. Under this influence, you often meet a person with whom you have a life-changing and complex relationship. You feel magically drawn to this person, and might not understand why. This is because Pluto represents the unconscious, so your feelings for this person are generally the result of unconscious forces you find difficult to control. You might feel obsessed and possessive over this person, as Pluto brings an “all or nothing” energy to your relationships. Power struggles are thus common under this influence. The physical component of the relationship is generally very strong; the need for physical closeness under this transit is intense. Pluto also represents the taboo, and the forbidden, so one is often attracted to unavailable partners under the influence of this transit (i.e. married, gay/lesbian, people from different areas). One thing this transit guarantees is personal evolution; we evolve through these relationships, as they uncover areas of our personalities we often keep hidden, and will teach you about personal intimacy. If partners separate, the passion and intensity they once shared is difficult to forget.  The relationships under this transit can also be financially or sexually exploitative, or even emotionally/sexually abusive, as Pluto represents domination, power, and control. The people you attract under this influence are generally Scorpio-like/Plutonian, and the synastry often reveals strong Pluto aspects and/or Scorpio placements.