Astrology · horoscope · Uncategorized

How to know if they are “the One”

Out of all the questions I get from my clients, the most popular is “Is my partner or crush The One?”

There are so many factors that go into whether your partner is your soulmate. I will outline a few below:

Good composite is more important than good synastry

This may not be a popular opinion, but throughout my consultations with clients, I notice over and over that good synastry cannot outweigh a ‘bad’ composite chart. Why is this?

A good synastry chart shows the chemistry between two people. It shows if they are attracted to one another and why. It shows basic compatibility between a couple. This is very important when first bringing two people together.

The composite chart, on the other hand, relates to the destiny of the couple. It shows what the two of you create when you come together.

You could have the most incompatible synastry connection with someone, but if you have a great composite chart, somehow things seem to keep you together.

From my personal experience, I’ve had some pretty significant synastric connections with my previous exes.

For example, with one man I had Moon conjunct Venus, Mars conjunct Mars, Venus conjunct Ascendant, Venus conjunct Pluto, and a Sun conjunct Saturn double whammy! We were immediately attracted to one another and I was definitely thinking long-term with him.

We went on a few dates and things were going well. Then, as things started to progress and things started getting serious, he started to pull away. This confused me – we felt so good in each other’s presence so why the sudden lack of interest?

couple standing on mountain above clouds

I looked at our Composite chart and found the answer: we had a tight Sun conjunct Saturn AND Moon square Saturn connection.

While he felt very responsible and committed towards me, the relationship, for whatever reason, made both of us feel very insecure. First of all, work always got in the way of our relationship. He was a very busy doctor who worked in another city, which made things difficult to begin with.

On the other hand, the Moon in square aspect to the Composite Saturn, which I felt very strongly. I felt ignored, neglected, and cold in this relationship because he always seemed to put work ahead of me. To top things off, I didn’t feel I could express my ‘inner child’ around him; I felt I always needed to be a ‘grown-up’ around him, even though he was 3 years younger than me.

In the end, him and I didn’t work out. Regardless of what happened, I always felt happy around him when we were together (I credit this to Moon conjunct Venus – it’s really one of the best aspects in synastry you could hope for). However, we could not seem to ever get past the Saturn blockages we faced.

What is a “bad” composite chart, though?

When analyzing a Composite Chart, there are a few key things you should look for, which I detail in Marriage Indicators in the Composite Chart article. 

I have seen Composite charts full of squares and oppositions, but have key aspects that pull the couple through every obstacle they face. Also, remember that an aspect that would be ‘bad’ for you, might not be ‘bad’ for someone else. For example, I love strong Uranus in my Composite chart because I am heavily Uranian.


Timing is KEY

Through Astrology, I have learned that all things come in good time! You could meet someone amazing and feel that you are completely in love, but I find that the timing of your meeting is very helpful in telling whether this relationship will end up as a marriage. Three things to check:

Transits through the 7th house: major planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) can signal a major relationship change.

Obviously, Jupiter, the planet of good fortune and expansion, can bring someone into your life. This will likely be a joyful and expansive relationship for you.

Saturn entering the 7th can either end a current relationship or bring a new relationship into your life. Saturn can mean an older person or a relationship that will come with its obstacles/burdens along the way. My best friend got married to a man 20 years older than her when Saturn entered her 7th house, but it ended quite suddenly (she is a very Uranian person so Saturn didn’t suit her)

Uranus is the planet of freedom and originality. When this planet is in your 7th house, it can bring a new, exciting relationship that fizzles out just as quickly as it started. I do personally know some marriages that began when Uranus was in the 7th house of at least of the partners, but the two people were very different professionally, culturally, and ethnically.

Neptune can bring a dreamy love and a true feeling of finding one’s soulmate, while Pluto can bring a complete overhaul in the love department. You could attract a very intense and transformative love relationship at this time.

Transits to Venus and the ruler of your 7th house

Venus is the planet of love and affection, and has a direct link to relationships and especially soulmates! Because of this, transits to Venus are some of the best indicators of finding the “one”.

You definitely want to look out for harmonious aspects to Venus from the outer planets, such as trines and sextiles, and sometimes even conjunctions.

The ruler of the 7th house represents the type of partner you will end up with. This is very similar to Venus, as it relates to one-on-one partnerships and relationships

The BEST love transits are:

romantic couple embrace in front of jungle waterfall


  • Jupiter conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
  • Saturn conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
  • Uranus conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
  • Neptune conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house
  • Pluto conjunct/sextile/trine natal Venus or ruler of the 7th house

I find that a lot of people fall in love during a strong Neptune transit to natal Venus, but these relationships often do not work out. This is because Neptune is the planet of illusion, and by the end of the transit, you may find that the person you fell in love with isn’t the person you thought they were.

During a harmonious Neptune-Venus transit, you can easily fall in love and the effects of Neptune will be much less taxing

Solar Returns

What does your Solar Return chart look like this year? The Solar return shows potentials for the year, including for marriage

  • Each and every Solar Return chart for the years I entered relationships were very heavy in the 5th and 7th houses
  • Look for a well-placed Venus and ruler of the 7th house for more details and clues
  • Pluto in the Solar Return 7th house shows a major transformation in the relationship sector – if you are single, this placement can mean a marriage year for you.

Progressions/Solar Arc

I don’t think it’s possible to NOT have a special progression or solar arc aspect when meeting the “one”.

Progressions show major trends in our lives, so there needs to be some sort of progression involving the 7th house, Venus, or the ruler of the 7th house when the “one” enters your life.

Some examples of progression or solar arc aspects indicating love:

beautiful wedding couple walking in forest and mountain
  • Progressed Sun-Venus aspects or Venus-Sun aspects – sextile, trine, conjunction
  • Progressed Ascendant-Venus aspects or Progressed Venus-Ascendant aspects – this one is the best indication for finding love
  • Progressed Venus-ruler of the 7th house or ruler of the 7th house to Venus aspects – indicates love and union
  • Progressed planets in the 7th house
  • Progressed planets making a harmonious aspect to the 7th house or 7th house ruler

I truly believe that true love comes down to compatibility, which is reflected through the synastry and composite charts, but it really comes down to the timing.




Rely heavily on progressions to see when that may be.

For those of you worried about your romantic future, fear not! You will find the ‘one’ in good time.

Click here to read The Synastry of Physical Attraction


Astrology · Compatibility Astrology

When will I find Love? Part 1- Outer Planet Transits

There are numerous ways of predicting the beginning of a relationship. One of the most reliable indications is when an outer planet (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune or Pluto) makes an aspect to your natal Venus, the ruler of your 5th house, and/or the ruler of your 7th house. For this section, I will only refer to transits to natal Venus, but you can apply these transits to the ruler of your 5th and/or 7th houses, as well.

Please note: while transits to to Venus and the 7th house can indicate the beginning of a relationship, you also need to look at other indicators, such as progressions, to see how significant the relationship will be. You can read more about progressions in Part 2.

Outer planets transiting in aspect to your natal Venus (or the ruler of your 7th house): often indicate the beginning (or ending- depending on the transit) of a relationship. The planet transiting your Venus and the aspect that planet makes to your Venus will tell you what kind of relationship will come into your life. Let’s review the nature of the outer planets, and discuss the type of relationship that will enter your life when it makes an aspect to your natal Venus.

Jupiter transits your natal Venus | Jupiter transits your 7th house ruler

When Jupiter conjuncts, sextiles, trines, opposes, or squares your Venus or the ruler of your 7th house, your desire for a partner and loving feelings expand. Jupiter is the planet of abundance, good luck, and expansion. Jupiter thus expands your love sector during this time and increases your opportunities for romance. This is especially true for the conjunction, trine and sextile aspects. With the square and opposition, you may take foolish risks in love. While Jupiter transits, on their own, do not necessarily indicate the beginning of a long-term, life changing romance, it can indicate a positive time for dating and creating new social connections.

I do not think Jupiter-Venus aspects on their own are enough to bring love into your life, though. Other transits need to be in play

Saturn transits your natal Venus | Saturn transits your 7th house ruler

Saturn is the planet of restriction, realism, commitment, and hard work. When Saturn conjuncts, sextiles, or trines your natal Venus or 7th house ruler, you become more serious about settling down and are attracted to stable, mature relationships. Indeed, this is a very commitment-friendly transit because you are more attracted to long-term relationships.

Many people find themselves settling down or reinforcing commitments to their partners during this time. If you begin a relationship at this time, it is likely to be serious and long-lasting. Strong Saturn contact should show up in composite and synastry charts, and your partner is likely to have strong Saturn/Capricorn aspects in his/her chart.

Uranus transits your natal Venus | Uranus transits your 7th house ruler

When Uranus aspects your natal Venus or 7th house ruler by transit, you crave excitement in your relationships. Uranus often brings us non-traditional relationships/partners (i.e. partners from a different culture, background, etc.), which usually begin (and end) very suddenly. Timing Uranus transits is very simple, as events tend to occur at the time Uranus makes an exact aspect to your Venus (by exact, I mean the aspect is within 11 minutes of exact).

Uranus-Venus relationships are characterized as sudden, impermanent, non-traditional, and exciting. What usually happens is a sudden encounter with the “man/woman of your dreams”, and the native often experiences “love at first sight”. The energy between the two is electric and exciting, but not stable, and the relationship often lacks any real commitment. Uranus transits serve to jolt us awake through events that force us to throw out any previous behaviors or habits we tend to cling to.

This is especially true for emotionally clingy, needy people, or people who are inherently stable and afraid of change. Uranus relationships are difficult to control, and manipulative tactics are completely useless in getting what we want out of the relationship. The native must learn to “let go” of expectations and control, or he or she will suffer greatly from this transit.

Because Uranus is characterized by impermanence and excitement, many find that relationships begun under this influence often end when the initial spark fizzles and one of the partners gets bored and feels the need to move on.

Sometimes, when the transit is over, the native may say, “what was I thinking, being in that relationship?” due to the fact that partners are generally chosen for the fact that they are “different” and “exciting”, rather than suitable, which becomes more and more apparent as Uranus moves away from their natal Venus.

This period can also be marked by increased promiscuity on the part of the native. Uranus on one’s Venus increases one’s magnetism, so the likelihood of meeting several partners increases. A good friend of mine characterised her Uranus opposite Venus transits as: “Lots of one-night stands, and lots of partying.”

This is especially true with the conjunction, square and opposition. Sextiles and trines are generally more stable influences, but have that Uranian spark to them nonetheless.  The partners you find under this transit are generally Aquarius or Uranian, or the syanstry or composite charts have strong Aquarian/Uranian influences.

Free photo view from distance newlyweds walk in the clouds
Image by freepic.diller on Freepik

Neptune transits your natal Venus | Neptune transits your 7th house ruler

When Neptune aspects your natal Venus or the ruler of the 7th house, your sensitivity and compassion towards others increases. Neptune represents delusion, illusion, dreams, addictions, and self-sacrifice. Under this influence, you are more likely to “see what you want” in partners, which can often lead to disappointment once the transit is over.

Under this transit, we are wearing rose-colored glasses; we see beauty in all people, and only want to think the best of them. This influence often brings a relationship into our lives, and we often believe this person is our soul mate. We idealize the person and make excuses for their faults, and ignore indications that the person is anything less than perfect. Relationship behaviors we would not normally approve of are now regarded as acceptable.

If the aspect is a conjunction, square, or opposition, the native must be extra careful to not over-idealize the partner and ignore red flags, as the threat of deception is strong. As Neptune moves away from Venus, the native becomes less enchanted by their mate; the native begins to see the person as they really are, which often leads to disappointment. The end of the transit can also manifest in the discovery of infidelity on the part of the partner; the native ignored red flags and made excuses for their partner’s behavior instead of facing the truth about the situation.

The partners you find under this influence are generally Piscean, or have strong Neptune in the chart. The Synastry and Composite charts generally have strong Neptune or Pisces aspects/placement.

Pluto transits your natal Venus | Pluto transits your 7th house ruler

When Pluto transits your natal Venus, you are no longer satisfied with superficial relationship; you want something deep, complex, and consuming. Pluto is the planet of “death”, therefore there is usually a death of some kind in regards to relationships (i.e. death of an existing relationship, death of previous relationship behaviours). For example this influence can also bring about an affair, or finding out one’s partner has been having an affair. This is a very “sexy” transit, and the attractions you have during this transit are often intense and obsessive, and sexual drives are generally strong.

Under this influence, you often meet a person with whom you have a life-changing and complex relationship. You feel magically drawn to this person, and might not understand why. This is because Pluto represents the unconscious, so your feelings for this person are generally the result of unconscious forces you find difficult to control. You might feel obsessed and possessive over this person, as Pluto brings an “all or nothing” energy to your relationships. Power struggles are thus common under this influence.

The physical component of the relationship is generally very strong; the need for physical closeness under this transit is intense. Pluto also represents the taboo, and the forbidden, so one is often attracted to unavailable partners under the influence of this transit (i.e. married, gay/lesbian, people from different areas). One thing this transit guarantees is personal evolution; we evolve through these relationships, as they uncover areas of our personalities we often keep hidden, and will teach you about personal intimacy. If partners separate, the passion and intensity they once shared is difficult to forget.

The relationships under this transit can also be financially or sexually exploitative, or even emotionally/sexually abusive, as Pluto represents domination, power, and control. The people you attract under this influence are generally Scorpio-like/Plutonian, and the synastry often reveals strong Pluto aspects and/or Scorpio placements.


Outer Planet Transits to the 7th house

Outer planets transiting your natal 7th house is another excellent indicator you will find love. The 7th house has to do with marriage and partnership, so when you are receiving a 7th house transit, you feel more open to partnership, and your powers of attraction are heightened.

Jupiter transits your 7th house

Jupiter transiting your 7th house indicates luck and abundance in your relationship sector. If you are single, you will have better luck finding a partner during this time. You will find more opportunities for love available to you. You might attract people from different cultures or Sagittarius people during this time.

Saturn transits your 7th house

Saturn transiting your 7th house can bring a serious and restrained air to your relationship sector, but can bring in a serious, committed relationship if the time is right. Look at how Saturn aspects your natal planets when it is transiting your 7th house. If it makes positive aspects to your natal Venus or 7th house ruler, this is a good sign. If you have planets in your 7th house which transiting Saturn will touch, there may be relationship changes at this time.

During this time, you are more likely to attract partners with whom you share a large age difference. You’re likely to attract Capricorn or Saturn-dominant people during this time.

Uranus transits the 7th house

Uranus transiting your 7th house can bring sudden, unpredictable relationships into one’s life. New exciting relationships may form, only to fall apart as quickly as they started. This transit will usually bring partners who are not your usual ‘type’. Anyways, I know a couple of people who met their marriage partners while Uranus was transiting their 7th house, so all relationships formed during this time are not doomed.

Look at how transiting Uranus will make aspects to your other natal planets, including Venus and your 7th house ruler, for more clues. You’re likely to attract Aquarius or Uranus-dominant people during this time.

Neptune Transits the 7th house

Neptune transiting your 7th house can bring in a relationship that feels like a dream come true. There is a feeling you have met your soulmate during this transit. It is very important to stay as realistic as possible in this relationship, for the threat of confusion and deceit can be high, depending on what aspects Neptune makes while transiting your 7th house.

If it makes a square to your natal Venus or the ruler of your 7th house, is is very important for you to see your partner and your relationship for what it really is. Be very clear with your intentions with each other.  You’re likely to attract Pisces or Neptune-dominant people during this time.

Pluto transits the 7th house

Pluto transiting your 7th house brings intense, deep connections. Relationships become an obsession during this time, and you find yourself yearning for another half. You are likely to attract Scorpio or Pluto-dominant partners now, and  the relationships you have will be transformative and all encompassing. Check how transiting Pluto aspects your natal planets while in your 7th house for more clues on timing.

Pluto transforms the house or planet it touches. So, if you are single, Pluto will bring new opportunities.


Click here for When Will I Find Love? Part 2

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